One Life One Story 我的笔迹，心迹

第五个学期角色 - （2）

2010-11-19T10:41:00.004+08:00

来到了考试的最后一个星期了，

我有十天的时间来准备最后一张考试，

但是我的心和头脑好像越变越懒散，

没有集中力，没有方向感。

我可以窝在房里两天不出门，

面子书的网页已不知道更新多少回了，

我还是喜欢我的房间，

但是如果我还在宿舍的话，

我应该七早八早的在图书馆里鬼混了

两年来，四个学期，

没有考试的日子，我都会在图书馆里过，

从早上到晚上，吃喝拉撒睡都可以在哪里解决，

好怀念那时候的感觉，

但是，人生是要有点转折点的，

我也没有想到，我会搬出来住，

更没想到，我可以没拿到宿舍。

马来西亚的特点，不止是三大民族而已，

还是三大不平等的民族，

华人就是没得到公平的对待，

至少我活在这里二十二年，我还是会说一句：不公平！！

民主只是拿来说说而已，那些政治人物都喜欢拿民主来大作文章！！

这个学期让我学会四川变脸法。

在不同的情况，变出不一样的脸色

还累，我的一位朋友说我们都在演戏

还是68亿演员的大制作，

好认同他的看法。

现在的我在想，

三年后的友谊是否还会存在，

我只认我对人的看法都在于第一次的见面，

如果印象不好的话，

那个人就可以从我的朋友列表里删除，

可能我们不应该这样对待人家，

但是，防人之心不可无！！

人心难测。。！！

待续。。。

第五个学期角色 - （1）

2010-11-02T10:03:00.003+08:00

步入第五学期的十四个星期，

明显的考试即将来临，

还是像往常一样

毫无准备，懒懒散散

但是回想这下半年的经历

真的有如连续剧一样

面对的不是工作上的烦恼

而是人与人之间的沟通方式

还真的可以让昔日的感情变淡，变节。

让我在无数的夜晚里

不断地问自己，到底是我变了还是我们都变了

权利让人失去了原本态度

我自问，我并不是没有改变的人

应该说当个旁观者应该可以把事情看得更加清楚

旁观者-是我这个学期的角色

观察了很多以前认为很重要的东西

现在都变得，随它去吧！！

我不在乎，我在乎会懂的在乎自己的人

为了别人自爱自怜，我不在乎

为了自己权利双收，我不在乎

我在乎的是我的感受，我要的东西

朋友仿佛过云雨，

我不懂，我们之间的友谊是否会长久

我只知道我们以不同的方式在乎对方

只是有人还是会爱自己多一些

爱自己所爱的人.....

待续....

I lose my countrol today again.

2010-09-09T18:55:00.002+08:00

I fight with my brother again. and physically fighting again. I remembered the last time was during my may holiday. Honestly, I cant stand withhis attitude anymore.
Anyway, I will treat him like a stranger from now onwards. seriously a stranger.
I play my part talk when necessary.

男生，女生 - 你们了解了吗?

2010-08-21T12:20:00.000+08:00

记得大学上妇产科课程的时候，第一节课，是我们学校附属医院的妇产科老主任给我们上的，那是一个60多岁的老太太。。
她并没有像以往的教授一样，直接开始讲我们的课程。而是和我们谈起了所谓的敏感话题----“处女情结”
记得当时我们大学三年级，这个问题对我们这些学医的学生来说，同样是个很敏感的话题，至少大家公开的时候从来不讨论也从来不提及。。。
老太太是这样说的：
在我们学习妇产科之前，我很想问你们一个问题，尤其是男孩子一个问题，你会希望你的妻子是处女吗？
希望的请举手。。。
我们一片愕然。。。
女生开始四处张望，看谁举手了。。
结果没有一个人举手。。。
老太太又问：那你们能够忍受自己妻子不是处女的举手？
女生又开始张望。。。
仍然没有人。。。
老太太又问：女生希望自己的丈夫是处男的举手？
一只，两只，三只，最后竟然所有的女生都举手了。。。
老太太又问：女生能容忍自己丈夫不是处男的举手？
女生的三分之二都举手了。。
老太太笑了：男生似乎不够勇敢啊，女生们都承认了。再做一次调查。。
这次，希望妻子是处女的，几乎所有的男生都举手了；而能够忍受自己的妻子不是处女的，只有5个人举手了（我们班有16个男生）。。。。
这是真实的事情，这是给我记忆最深的一堂课，这是老太太开始的一个调查，直到今天，每当我和寝室的同学聊天的时候，都会聊到这个老人。。因为她让我们这些女孩子第一次开始清晰的思考这个问题
你怎么知道你的妻子或者丈夫是处女或者处男?
老太太接着又问了我们第二个问题: 你怎么判断你的妻子或者丈夫是处女或者处男?
一片宁静...
没有人回答.
老太太笑了: 你们都该是7/80 年代的孩子吧, 大家可都说你们这一代是混乱而垮掉的一代, 想不到也这么拘谨阿.
她然后严肃的开始了我们的课程, 那是我5年医学生生活中记忆最深刻的一堂课。
她是这样说的(后来和我们寝室的人聊天的时候, 大家惊奇的发现, 我们每个人都几乎记下了她说的每一句话;)
“ 我刚才这个问题, 也许女孩子无法回答, 因为你们无法去判断你们的丈夫是否是处男, 至少从医学的角度上是这样的. 所以有时候, 是不是女孩子们会觉得不公平呢!

那么, 男孩子又怎么去判断呐? 你们不愿意说, 我来帮你们说. 你们这代孩子肯定都看小说, 不管是黄色的还是红色的, 也看毛片,可能女孩子也有看的吧.. 所以你们不说, 我也可以知道, 你们心里一定说, 你们可以从第一次和你们的女朋友或者妻子的性生活中来发现,因为女孩子又一个这个社会总在提的”处女膜”.
在我们那个年代, 这个是根本就不能随便说的, 那样的女人会被认为是”婊子”, 不过到你们现在的时代, 你们应该都开始公开说了吧..
老太太很幽默的看着我们
但是你们知道吗? 其实那个处女膜什么也代表不了, 所以其实从医学的角度来说, 女孩子和男孩子一样, 也是解放的;
我们一片雀然耸人听闻无论男生还是女生都开始窃窃私语老太太就那么慈祥的看着我们
你们不用议论, 你们是医学生, 应该会用医学去分析你们看到和听到的事情
在医学中, 所有的事情都没有绝对的, 都有例外.
处女膜也是这样, 有的女孩子可能天生就处女膜缺如, 有的女孩子处女膜可能非常薄也就非常脆弱, 小时候不当心, 可能做一些激烈的体育运动, 它就自己破裂了,而你可能还不知道; 有的女孩子可能小时候得过某些妇科疾病, 虽然一般来讲, 在未婚前,
医生是不会通过阴道做任何检查的, 但是某些特定情况下, 可能必须要这样做, 那么这样的女孩子的处女膜其实是认为损坏的; 还有某些医疗事故,某些医生把未婚的女孩当作已婚的人做了妇科检查; 还有的女孩子小时候好奇, 自己可能去试, 所以认为的造成了破裂,而还可能有的女孩子的处女膜很厚很结实, 所以很难破.
这么多可能, 你说你怎么知道你的妻子是哪种可能呢?
其实是一个女孩子, 你又怎么知道你是哪种类型呢?
当然, 你们可能会说我这个老太婆, 讲的是个例
但是你们这些男孩子, 又怎么知道你们的妻子不是个个例呢?
我还记得我曾经的一个患者, 那时候我还年轻, 刚是个卫生诊所的大夫, 而那个年代又很保守. 那是个下雨天, 晚上已经很晚了,我一个人值班,半夜的时候, 门被敲响了, 是一个自杀的女人被人们送来了, 那个女人是割腕的, 当时基本已经没有救了, 但它仍然说着一个字:我是处女阿..那时候我还年轻, 但是多年后, 我想那个女人也许就是处女膜很薄的那种类型, 所以小的时候做大的体力劳动的时候弄破了,但新婚之夜, 她的丈夫狠狠的打了她, 骂她是”婊子”, 她就自杀了, 以表她的清白.
老太太讲这件事情的时候, 表情很凝重.
我讲这些, 不是在告诉女孩子们, 你们应该如何给自己找理由, 来园谎, 而是告诉你们这些年轻人, 结婚应该为了你们的爱, 而不是处女的身份.
何况现在整形医学发展的很快, 修复处女膜也不是一件难事情了.
可以说, 从医学的角度来讲, 在这个社会, 女人已经可以和男人一样, 你已经可以无法分辨出她是否是处女了, 就象你无法分辨一个男人是否是处男一样..
你应该有婚前性行为吗?
老太太讲到这个的时候, 给我们留了个悬念..
她说, 我知道我这个年纪的人, 和你们讲这个, 你们会认为我古董, 跟不上时代了. 所以今天我不讲, 我让你们自己去门诊体会.
妇产科门诊流产室是我终身难忘的地方, 也许每一个医学生, 都不会忘记那里吧.
我接的第一个病人是一个北京女孩
她害怕在北京做碰见熟人, 所以来到北方的城市的医院里

她是那种很乖巧的类型, 想来在学校里应该属于很漂亮的那种类型吧.
“怎么了?” 带我的老师问她..
她的脸有一点红: “已经一个月没来例假了..”
老师头也没抬, 划了两张化验单 “先去做个检查, 拿着结果再来..”
她不好意思的走了.
老师看看我, “你们可不要学.你们待时间长了就知道了, 产科门诊主要就两件事, 给产妇检查和给这样未婚先孕的做流产..
那个女孩子一会就会来了, 果然怀孕了..
“要么?” 老师问
“不要, 我”
“不用说原因了, 确定不要?”
“恩..”
“好, 做无痛的还是一般的? 无痛的600, 一般的300.”
“大夫, 我听别人说, 有那种药物的, 不用做手术.”
“药物的不干净, 一般我们医生不建议, 而且你这个有点大, 药物的也不一定安全, 但是我得先说清楚, 这是第一个孩子吧..
“恩”
“流产有各种并发症和后遗症, 我们医生当然会尽量避免, 但是有些可能是难以避免的, 有的人甚至因为这个而造成终身不孕, 所以我们一般建议第一个孩子能留还是留.不过如果坚持, 我们也会给你做的..”
“大夫, 我这个孩子不能要”
“好, 那你是做无痛的还是一般的, 一般的疼, 无痛的就是打点麻醉药, 不过贵.”
“那还是一般的吧.”
我看了看那个女孩子..
老师把表格递给她, 让她签了字, 然后我带着她去找护士给她测体温脉搏之类的我清楚的记得, 那个女孩子是82年生的, 和我一边大
之后我把她领进了人流室
那时我看的第一个人流手术, 非麻醉的
其他都记不得了, 但我清晰的记得那喊声, 当时我就一辈子发誓, 我永远也不会到这里来.
老师做手术的时候, 对我说: 我不希望在这里看见你们.”
然后她就什么也没有说.
人流手术, 其实是很危险的一种, 至少我是这样认为. 在医学上, 任何手术都是危险的, 因为虽然她的风险率只有千分之几或者万分之几, 但是你要知道, 如果降落在你的身上, 她就是百分之百阿.
更何况, 对于女人来说, 那有可能意味着永远不能生育
不要对我说, 你不在乎是否有小孩, 不要对我说你未来的先生不在乎有小孩, 但我知道, 至少绝大多数的男人都是希望有自己的孩子的.除非你愿意冒险,即使你能找到一个不在乎处女之身的男人
我再罗嗦一句
其实自己也不知道自己想说些什么.
不是医学生的人, 没有经历过流产室里一幕幕的人, 也许永远也无法理解这些
所以, 我的老太太老师才会对我们说, 等你们到流产室实习的时候, 就知道你们将来应该怎么做了..

所以有时候, 自己有点庆幸, 自己曾经学过医.
记得我们班的男生结束妇产科实习的时候, 通常都会感慨两句话:
“哎, 做女人太不容易了, 我以后得对我妈和我妻子好点.
“哎 , 打死我, 我也不和我爱的人在婚前发生关系.
记得以前有一篇用数学模型分析女孩子该不该答应男朋友和他发生关系的文章, 很好
结论就是决不
如果他爱你, 他不会这样要求你, 即使这样要求你, 你拒绝了, 他也会理解的...
如果他不爱你, 那你正好可以趁此机会脱离他, 却寻找自己真正的爱人.....
我不喜欢那些仁义道德大谈的, 但是面对自己妻子的时候却要大谈特谈”处女情结” 的男人. 但是作为一个女孩子, 为了保护自己, 为了自己的快乐, 还是把那些留在婚后吧
因为婚前的行为, 你无法料想她会带来些什么
而如果你的那位真的爱你, 也决不会因为你的没有答应, 而离开你
而一个已经无法保全的女孩子
去识别那些能够让你快乐的男人
虽然这个社会上有很多”处女情节”的男人, 但也同时有很多真正的懂得爱情的男人, 不要为了婚姻而婚姻
更何况现代的医学毕竟在发展(不过这条并不是你应该放纵自己的理由)
我罗嗦的太多了..
有点混乱.
不过我想, 如果你待在一个不讲究处女的地区, 那么你尽可以去经历, 就象美国派里演的一样
如果不是, 就看你想如何去过你的生活了,,,
比如在加拿大, 当地人, 很少有没有过性生活的人, 至少在我这个岁数的, 所以如果你想找个当地人的话, 你尽可以去按照他们的方式去过;如果在中国, 至少在北方城市, 我很少听谁说, 我要找个非处女老婆的, 所以如果你想找个那里的当地人, 你就不得不想想了..
最后让我重复我的那个老太太老师最后对我们说的话“
老太太看着我们说：女孩子们，看见了吗。在这个社会里,其实很多男人都是希望自己的妻子是处女的，而且很少有男人会忍受自己的妻子不是处女的事实。这在目前的中国，和以前的中国相比，这样的状况，其实并没有改变过。。所以每当我在门诊看见像你们一样年轻的女孩子来做流产或者堕胎的时候，我就想让他们看看你们举起的手。。。所以,既然你们是医学生，更应该懂得保护和珍爱自己，女孩子们。。希望我不会在流产门诊看见你们其中的任何一个。”

Selangor Assembly Speaker - Teng Chang Khim

2010-08-18T18:34:00.003+08:00

邓章钦：陶醉在民意高现象民联出现太多迟疑
2010/08/17 6:37:04 PM
●南洋商报独家专访：许国伟、蔡晓薇

邓章钦：其实废除支持信已在州政府改革议程内，只是步伐较慢

（吉隆坡17日讯）民主行动党中委兼雪州议长邓章钦直言，民联固然要大刀阔斧推行改革，可是现在却出现太多“迟疑”，甚至陶醉在民意高的现象，已经在想“千秋万代”。

民联执政雪州超过2年，虽然改革良多，民间反应也好，但是最近爆发的“支持信”事件，却让雪州民联政府及行动党陷入极度尴尬的处境，以致国阵抨击雪州政府及行动党在执政后迅速腐化。

邓章钦向《南洋商报》说，以支持信而言，其实废除支持信已在州政府改革议程内，只是步伐较慢，没想到问题就先爆发出来。

“对我而言是塞翁失马，可以加速取消支持信措施，但如果一些人说我们没有改革，是不对的。”

他说，他上任议长72小时后，便提出4件要做的事：（1）延长议会辩论时间、（2）网上直播议会、（3）设立公开听证会、（4）让反对党担任公账会主席。这些事情在2年4个月内都已做到。

“一定要改革，不能等……现在（有人）太多迟疑，我们已处在没有时间达致成果的状况，不应该再蹉跎。”

大选前整顿好制度

询及，是否有人已在想“千秋万代”这回事？邓章钦毫不掩饰的说：“会，他们处于满意状况，民意高啊，70%华裔支持嘛，马来人多加5%就好……其实最重要是大选之前把制度整顿好，这才是重点。”

他说，是否能在有限时间内整顿制度、完成结构性改革，这才重要。

发生“支持信”事件后，州政府及行动党采取的行动，也成为各界焦点。

他说，如果只因为出现支持信问题，就把民联比喻成像国阵一样，那是不理性的说法，抹杀了民联过去两年的努力。

“我个人沮丧不是因为此事，而是因为整个社会受到自命清高的舆论所影响。很多评论人自命清高，某些评论人对从政者的要求……你去找圣人从政吧！”

电影篇

问：《锦衣卫》后，还想看什么电影？

答：我很想看电影，但是没有时间，所以我只看电视剧。我错过很多好电影，但不会特定去戏院看戏，我出现的场合也只有卖翻版光碟，但我如何去买呢？（哈）我看很杂，很多烂东西我也看，因为不看不懂它有多烂，所以我边看边骂。像只有听古典音乐才对吗？流行音乐也有值得启发及美丽之处啊，看戏也是一样，一些香港无厘头的戏也有可取之处，它能反映人生。

中国电影不错，但不一定是完美的，例如我看过一部戏，对白让我捧腹大笑，因为其中一个演员说“明修栈道，暗渡陈仓”，但年代不对嘛，乱套了...(笑)

问：我曾看过演唐代狄仁杰的电视剧，演员对白说“幽默”这词。

答：（笑到翻）……讲到幽默，中国人不懂幽默，所以中国几千年都没有出现这个字眼，你也找不到最接近的中文字眼。即使是“滑稽”也不是“幽默”，而是 “funny”，“幽默”高级一点，funny只是好笑，中文没有幽默，所以历史上幽默的中国人，都没有好下场，你幽默一点点别人就以为你在讽刺了，但那是幽默啊！

问：现在也是？

答：嗯，现在也是，有些人不懂得幽默。（笑.....）

历史篇

●邓章钦看历史

问：看历史书吗？

答：即使我看历史书，我也不会背，我觉得背书很累赘……我喜欢看历史人物性格及事件，我认为若多看历史人物及了解其性格，这是很大的个人文化修炼……多看历史书是好的，所以我就奇怪，为什么有人喜欢看古龙。（哈哈哈）

●邓章钦看历史人物

问：中国历史人物众多，你最欣赏谁？

答：我相当喜欢曹操，但别人可能以为我是坏人。我不认同曹操说：“宁可我负天下人人，不可天下人负我”，但曹操的文学造诣很好，他拥有大格局，宁可放弃做皇帝，可见他的格局很大。但我最欣赏的不可能是他（曹操），他是政治家、军事家及文学家，在中国历史上非常难得，不可能有人才能如他，生在那个时代，他很不简单，但往往被误解，当然这要怪搞文学的人，因为这样才有张力（笑）。

问：这或许，还要怪他不姓“刘”。（注：汉高祖刘邦订立“非刘氏而王，天下共击之”的白马盟约）

答：中国人喜欢以成败论英雄，你看刘邦及项羽，大家都说刘邦好，我说项羽是鲁莽及性格冲动一点，但他有真性子，做人像刘邦的话太阴险了，像刘备做皇帝有如何？我对他没什么好感，还有刘表……大草包一个。但是，我并不是对姓刘的有偏见（大笑特笑）。

我觉得曹操是很潇洒的人，能有他的文学造诣及军事才能，我觉得不虚此生，但历史上就只有这么一个曹操（哈哈）。

个人篇

●邓章钦看同僚

问：党内很多人把你与林冠英比较，后来又与倪可敏比较，有吗？

答：有……拿我与林冠英比较很自然，因为是同一年代的，但拿我与倪可敏比较，就太看不起我了！（哈哈哈），到今天为止倪可敏还抄我的演讲。像“马来西亚最近出口笑话”，我已经讲过，大概半年了，他在一个场合听过，后来变成自己文告，他就成为“原创者”了。

●邓章钦看自己

问：像你这样的性格，不容易讨好吧？

答：我想我的兴趣多元化，我感觉我是比较属于文化领域。在政治圈内，像我这样性格的，要生存不容易，我认为我已经是奇迹了。

我自夸一点，我的观察力很敏锐、笔锋言论尖锐及准确、语文表达比一般人好，像这样的能力在政治圈（生存）是比较困难的。我常讲，政治人物有时要迷糊一点，像苏东坡，他一生在政治上很多波折，他是文人，文学造诣无人质疑，但是作为政治人物，他一生被贬了多次。他有一首诗，“人皆养子望聪明，我被聪明误一生，唯愿孩儿愚且鲁，无灾无难到公卿”……我想这是前人的智慧，政治人物太清晰尖锐，不愚不钝的话，会多灾多难。我想若我无法迷糊的话，再这样下去会不会很痛苦？

我读书不多，但勉强沾有文人气息，所以我真是奇迹了。

●邓章钦看演说

问：在政治演讲会，你会发明很多创意词汇，例如把Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang说成“这么烂、根本烂、特别烂”，让人有共鸣，你这么做到的？

答：我从草根出身，我讲的语言是民众的语言，我了解民众心态，他们怎么想。我常说，很多人一夜之间做了海啸议员，就以为自己很了不起，三个人投诉他就当做全世界都在投诉。政治人物，特别是在民主政治内，要靠民意上位，就要懂得阅读民意。可是很多人不懂。其实很多国人偏向沉默，我们往往注重吵闹的人，会吵的孩子有糖吃，所以我们只专注吵闹者，而忘了需要照顾绝大多数沉默的人，但他们到底要什么？很多政治人物不懂得阅读民意。

问：这是你的天赋吗？还是经验累积？

答：是环境及经验，我是从最低层出来的。

问：但你没有草莽气息？

答：那个要经过文化洗礼（大笑）我觉得今天没有掩盖太多东西（又大笑...）

p/s: I admire his talent in general. It's so tough to have him this kind of man to stand still in society. I really wish I ahve the opportunity to get a closer chance to interact with him. Applause for him. *clap clap*

寄人篱下的日子-第九天

2010-07-20T19:12:00.002+08:00

终于让我听到一点点消息了..
我的宿舍上诉的事终于有眉目了..
逸斌说看见我的名字白纸黑字的出现在上诉得直的名单内...
我的心想，老天爷，您千万别跟我开玩笑...
我可经不起’意外‘的消息...
现在的我，只能够慢慢的等待真实的消息...
漫漫长夜...
斗斗星辰...
我想家了...

寄人篱下的日子-第七天

2010-07-18T16:05:00.000+08:00

原来在在别人家生活真的很难，所有的生活步骤都要顺着别人的风格。

有时候，我真的很不自在。好像每天都不是我想要过的生活节奏，

但是除了我没有交房租费以外，我对这间家的设施都非常满意，

只可惜的是这并不是我的家，天啊！！

什么时候，我才能够回到我的狗窝？！

我好怀念那些吹水的日子！！

p/s: 小孩子真的很麻烦，究其是好动的孩子。。!!

New life

2010-07-13T16:10:00.002+08:00

I reached Sabah on the day of Sabah on the 26/06/2010.
Can u just imagine I had moved my bags for 7 times (maybe more) until I decided to stay at my uncle's house for that 3 weeks.
I really do hope it's only 3 weeks because the feeling of staying at ppl's hse isn't that good.
They don't have much hobby but only some tv after their dinner,
but the 3 children is the most important part after all.
they was quite noisy most of the time ( all the time, to be specific a bit).
What i can do in that house is only facing my own lappie for drama n drama n drama.
there's no assignments at the meanwhile because of the advance system in my uni.. *clap clap*

Oh god..!! please listen to my prayers...
Please bring me to a brighter side of my life...
I know you had given me the light but at this time I really needs spotlight..!!

A tiring summer holiday

2010-06-13T12:12:00.002+08:00

A tiring summer holiday..

This is the first summer break which I felt is the most tired one,

in other way, I'm involved into more responsibility ( working ma),

less rest, more sickness caught into me in this one month holiday,

From day to day, i felt I'm so weak to get up and perform the routine worksssss

but guess what, even though I'm not willing to get up but end up, waken up by my mum or dad,

When I count on my finger, I leaved 2 weeks at here then going back to Sabah for orientation and the hostel stuff.

I'm so unwilling to go back so early, in fact if I got my hostel result ealier which the answer is an 'accaptance', I can just persuade my mum to let me go back ealier,

I don't care about the orientation anymore,

no determination to go further for my Activity life,

but without the existence of activities, I know my life will be very commom,

but relax, relax relax to go through my last year degree life...

However, until this time, I have no regret with what I had gone through,

maybe with the right person and the right time..

gosh, need to be off to my grand aunt to pay her a visit coz she is old enough to travel around..

update soon..

Did you open your heart to someone?

2010-04-29T20:18:00.002+08:00

A freind of mine had asked me this question below:

' Have you ever open your heart to someone?'
'If you dont, then will be long engage in single life.'

Honestly, my heart is colled in most of the time.
I know how I heart feels when the right one exists in my life.

Don't you think so?

Let go

2010-04-13T03:54:00.002+08:00

This is the first time I received I'm a no manenrs person in ppl eye.
yeay. people who know me, I'm tat kind of ppl where I do all my stuff follow my way.
I got my own personality. I live for myself.
The distance between me n you is getting further n further..
the distance cant be measured...
THe speechless can't be described...
The irritiated can't be spoken...
From now on, I told myself..
Is time to let u go as a friend...
because u'r not the friend I'm looking for..
I'm the one who changing not you...
I'm so sorry I can't able to understand u anymore...
Maybe all the previous understanding is not deep enough...
I can't drop any tears for friends...
because it has been become a scare in my heart...
A scare which I can't understand u...

I let u go, my friend...

I want to start a new journey

2010-04-09T11:38:00.002+08:00

People have been telling me, my attitude got problem, my tempered is too high..
EQ too loqw... like to yell and get angry all the time..
Come on man.. if u dunno how stupid , idiot , basterd u are right??!!
shut ur mouth and go eat shit..!~@!~@!~@
everyone has theri limit...
only certain bitch and basterd can make me angry..
I'm trying my best to ignore,..
but u seems like cross my limit..
lie to me and not admit is ur fault..
tat's ur problem not mine..!@~!@!~
lying can caused ur dead and fail for ur life..
Anyway, I'm not going to busy body for any other people business already..!@#~!@
I just want to do my best for my job..
and make u guys not question on my work..
don't ever try to cross the line..
i meant it...

I proved myself

2010-04-08T14:36:00.002+08:00

I just came back from Tamu gadang interview. Honestly speaking, this is the sort of a event for our convo people in this October. I wanted to join because I love all of them so much..!! I meant it..!!!
I might be not that good for the last year performance but I will perform my best for my next event. Guess what, I suits busy life. Busy life suits me!!
Some rumors were going around the uni regarding to the position for certain event. For me, all of that is childish minded. I don't give a damm shit whether u wanna band me for any reason. For me, u afraid of me then u drop me. THose people don't over confidence. I'm not that person who wish for the condition where people don't appreciate for my work..
There is still some where else I belongs..
I belongs my own kingdom.. not you to decide my direction.

I got for what I want, I work hard for it, I impress people with my ability; I don't need your sympathy.

New Templates..!!

2010-03-31T15:15:00.001+08:00

I'm the painter...
GOtna catch up with assignmnets...
Tired until finish my final..!~@~!#

My weakness

2010-03-18T16:46:00.002+08:00

Received a precious comment from an old friend whom currently in Russia for her Medical study.
Thanks a lot for your comment and advise.
I know keep avoiding is not the way to solve my problem.
This is my psychological problem.
I'm a person who afraid of loneliness.
All this while, I had two close seniors infact my closest friends in my university walk along with me,
They seriously walked along with me all the time.
When, I'm going to fall. They will be there.
But situation will change, I have to grow up.
I have to walk alone after this semester.
The joy and happiness that we had build through our past is going to become our history.
From 1st year, a girl whom only know study is the most important had change to a person who like to think too much.
She kept all the secrets in her heart, no one can understand.
She knows her weaknesses, she had trying very hard to change her irritiating attitude.
Obviously, she failed.
She always concerned for her family because she knows how precious her family is to give her support.
She wish to fly as high as possible but she always pulled back by certain force(self-confidence).
Since last time, I will said I'm a person with very less self confidence ( maybe because of my body size).
Sometimes, she wonder if her body is slim like model, will she become more confidence to herself?!
I doubts but with slim body is better than an overweight body shape.
She wish someone can understand her, she is not hoping for much.
At least a good friend who can understand me.
A girl who always have to carry the responsibility is always tired.
Tired until she has to explore what she had done for the whole day before she slept.
Sometimes, she cant sleep because of the incident that happened in the day.
MSM event, might be the last event for me in the my degree.
Seniors asked me to try it out if the feeling is not right then just take a rest.
There's no point carry on anymore.
My heart tell me to move on but my mind ask me to stop.
If I had a choice, I wish to have a life with my music, basketball, studies and events together.
If I were a boy...
maybe I can be more firmed with my decision...
If I were a boy...
I don't have so much time to doubts my decision but to carry on...
If I were a boy...
I will be tough as a real man.
But I'm a girl..
Thanks to my parents had given me a female identity..
They makes me think further and outside the box...
My weakness is I ALWAYS THINK TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! chilaka..!!

Updates

2010-03-15T16:22:00.002+08:00

I will not post anything unless ir really created numerous effect to my life. I'm quite busy with my assignments currently. In fact, I have assignments stil not started yet. Very emotional recently, I don't know what's the problem.
jealous?
miss the praised like last time?
empty is the most suitable word to describe my life now...
was wondering should I change my flight ticket o not...
mum said last year d.. join nia la.. no prob ba..
then ok, I joint.

I wished someone can tell me.. what I had become until now?! what's my difference since last time..
someone...
please tell me...
thanks

Thing that caught my attention since last year

2010-02-23T13:02:00.002+08:00

All this while, I'm in Sabah.
I always try my very best to solve all the obstacles occurred in my life.
I did complaint.
I did give up.
I did a lot of negative behavior to keep myself in my own life box.
However, life carry on smoothly as I wished since the first day I stepped my first step in this land.

After I have adapted myself here for almost 2 years,
I actually enjoy very much with my single life here.
If I could add in my transportation here then my life will be awesome.
Then I started to think about my future as in I have one more year a heads from here,
then I will graduate from my degree from UMS.
So, now my future is the main attention in my life.
Ever since my family had problem, my future is always the main concern in my life.
Before this, I told myself I will go back to my home and stay with my parents after I start working so that I can accompany them especially my daddy.
But now I have any different thought for my future.

What had make me success in UMS?!
I always question myself..
I came out with a conclusion because I'm far away from my home then I can avoid from the quarrel with family.
These is the main factor that can make me feel relax in handling my things here.
Since last May holiday started, I knew that home is not the place I can stay if I started my career.
Not to mean that I'm so cruel to leave my parents with two younger brothers.
But, I can only concentrate in my work if I leaved my house just like the condition in Sabah now.

I keep searching and searching a way for me to go abroad for my career.
I know I mustn't in hurry to work it out and things will change in one year time.
I might be not alive in this coming one year. Tragedy is kindna subjective for me.
I'm still with my principle, if there is any chance to go further,
I will say
YES!!

Glory + Normal

2010-02-01T16:48:00.003+08:00

Pesta Ang Pow UMS was performed greatly on last satuday night at Dewan Chancellor, UMS.
That was full house for that night.
I really appreciate with all the hard work we had done and challenges we had overcome it.
Thanks to my strong teammates, 16 of us had created glory to ourselves and to PAP as well.
I really hope that they had learned something through out this event.
It's hard to gather all the strong and tough people in one team But we are the one strong team.
All the misunderstand and stress or conflict, I bag forgiveness from all of you.
I apologize if I ever hurt you in the past, present and future.
Carry on your university life with fun and challenges.
Enjoy who you are as a student in this protected area.
Growth as much as you could to decrease harmful impact in your future.
All the best and good luck!!
Happy Chinese new year. See yea, iron men unit publicity Pesta Ang Pow 2010.

LIFE..........

2010-01-22T15:52:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, life is so unpredictable..
The more you had prepared, the more thing you might lose..
The more thins you cant control....!!!

力不從心

2009-12-28T23:54:00.002+08:00

老弟去了雲頂﹐留下我一個孤零零地守在店里。
回家的路上﹐全巴生交通大癱瘓。
老爸在車上說﹐近年來都受盡了老媽的壞脾氣﹔反之﹐ 老媽又向我大吐苦水﹐
讓我的心情漣漣起漪﹐
淚水還會不聽使喚的留下來﹐
哭﹐不能解決問題﹐
但我能做什麼?!
兩老的互不相讓﹔兩小又惹多生事﹐
每天的吵架問題都是一樣的﹐
難道你們不悶嗎?
嘴裡說很累但是還是不停的找話題來吵﹐
還是你們想有一天其中一人遠離你們才會閉上你們的嘴啊?!
如果真的能成全你們﹐我甘願為那片魚肉﹐任你為所欲為﹐
每一天我盼的是家里人高高興興的﹐
光這一點﹐我看還真的要了他們的命。
老爸說等我學成歸來﹐就是他讓他的生命永生的時候﹐
倘若這成了事實﹐這家也會散了﹐
老媽終日苦面向對﹐
一位有病的人還有多少日子﹐10年對他來說簡直就是恩賜了﹐
過去的讓它過去﹐如果你認為他的現在的一切都是報應﹐
難道他不會後悔嗎?!為什麼還要在每一次都斗嘴都為了老問題﹐
要是覺得負擔重了﹐節儉啦。。
老爸還沒有患病的時候﹐他應該都沒有不允許你不開冷氣吧?!
每個星期就那麼一天啊。。。
我時常都在想﹐如果有那麼的一天﹐
有人賞識我願意以高價的薪水但必須遠離家裡﹐
我會欣然的接受。。。
如果你們想更早當寡婦或則孤哀兒的話﹐
我真的無話可說﹐
現在我每一年的生日願望﹐新年願望都是希望可憐我﹐
讓我家的兩老和和氣氣﹐
讓他們有這個福氣看到我們三個成家立業。。。
老天爺﹐我的心聲﹐
您可否聽見了?!

遠在西方的外公外婆﹐可不可以救救你孫女啊??
她快倒下了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
每晚的眼淚都伴著她入眠。。。。。。。。

1- 2009/2010

2009-12-25T12:48:00.002+08:00

Result for 3rd semester released last night.
The result I have got is expected.
It's in my expectation for this semester. No harm.
I know it's has come t0 the time I need to work hard for the coming semesters.

结婚是幸福的

2009-12-15T14:28:00.002+08:00

两个人可以在一起共结连里是百年修来的缘分，
看着别人幸福的结婚照，
百般滋味用上心头，
此情此景，
每人献上最美好的祝福，
但愿他俩执子之手，与子皆老。

未来的数十年才是真正的开始...........

21 young adult behavior

2009-12-07T13:33:00.003+08:00

I remembered I posted this question in my facebook : What shd a 21 young adult behave??
This question came into my mind after I read : My dear Andrea.
A boy turninh to 21st years old soon but he was far away separated from his mother and his mother decided to understand a first 21 years old friend in her life where he's trying to know his mother from the beginning.

Sometimes, I wonder why most of the Asian parents cant communicate with their children. Their words are more in ordering than advise or encourage.
When I flashed beck my life in the past 20 years. I'm so glas I was staying with my grandparents since my kindergarden until the day she passed away. Her leaved had caused a big change in my life. I have to move back to my own house which I'm not familiar with. I had to leave a house where I stayed for 12 years which fulled with my memory and move in MY House.

My parents had never experience babyseat a baby from age 0 until 12 years old because fatty bro and me were take care of my grandmother. When the time we move back to own house, my fatty bro already went into primary school so they missed the developing stage of two children then they faced super duper lot porblem in educating my youngest brother. He's the most headache person in out family even my father also cant control him at this age. He's only 12 this year. You can just imagine how 'good' his behavior is. PArents don't understand they keep using the same method in educationg the three childred which were borned in different stage of environment. Lately 80's, early 90's and lately 90's.

Three children with different background ( especially technology environment), develope in different background. The latest a child was born the more complicated a child minded is. Sometimes, I was wondering what food they ate when they were in growth age?! Why are they so different from us?! This question I wished a professionist could help me up.

Being a parents we must learn as well. We learn to educate our child, educate them based on the environment. As I always said : Only environment can make a man change , a man cant change the environment'.

The situation in my family, I don't know how to help because I'm not being a parents yet.
As a sister for him , I'm already complete as a role model.
As a daughter in a family, I already try my best to make my parents proud of me.

I hope as a wife n a mother in the future, I will try my best do not let this situation happen again in my life because I don't want my life being repeated again.

Late Updates : 11th Malaysia Chinese Bookfair + Current condition

2009-11-29T23:35:00.003+08:00

I have been abandoned my blog for quite long period already. Even I came back from Sabah for my 3rd semester holiday I also didn't update my blog because : LAZY!!

Let by gone be by gone, I went for the 11th Malaysia Chinese Bookfair at The mines for the 1st time. This is the first time I went to THE MINES. O.o''' I know some of you all might said: Wah!! U very outdate le. But too bad I have everything so perfect in Klang area so I don't need to travel that far for shopping~~.

Currently enjoying reading my book.named : My dear Andrew.
This book has been published for few years back. I still remeber I read the synopsis in Chinese newspaper but due to the reason of lack of $$ so I didn't purchase this book. I'm so lucklt to find this book in the bookfair with 20% discount. For me is 100% free because It paids by my MUM!!
wee~~~ The most important thing is it's the last one on the table. So, I consider myself very luckly.

I will updates again after I finished reading this book.
I'm inlove with Andrew right now.

Out of difficulties, miracle happens.

2009-11-16T15:40:00.003+08:00

The weather at Kota Kinabalu were very bad since last week. Big hot sun in the morning but rain after 4pm. That's the reason I wake up early every to wash my belongings except my blanklet because I know I will be freezing at night without it.

Another 2 days, I shall step on Klang's road again. I counted this is my 7th times I went back from Sabah. I was so excited last time but I got not much different right now. Something caught my mind properly is my activity next year.

Some people might think that as long as I try my best to make the event as good as possible, no one will blame me!!

But the more responsibility on my shoulder, the more achievement I wish to achieve it.
Out of difficulties, miracle happens.

Sharing Post with Everyone..~~~

2009-10-26T16:25:00.000+08:00

转帖~~父母永远只有一个~

媳婦說: 煮淡一點妳就嫌沒有味，現在煮鹹一點妳卻說咽不下，妳究竟想怎麼樣？」母親一見兒子回來，二話不說便把飯菜往咀裡送。她怒瞪他一眼。他試了一口，馬上吐出來，兒子說：「我不是說過了嗎，媽有病不能吃太鹹！」「那好！媽是你的，以後由你來煮！」媳婦怒氣沖沖地回房。兒子無奈地輕嘆一聲，然後對母親說：「媽，別吃了，我去煮個麵給妳。」

「仔，你是不是有話想跟媽說，是就說好了，別憋在心裡！「媽，公司下個月升我職，我會很忙，至於老婆，她說很想出來工作，所以....」母親馬上意識到兒子的意思：「仔，不要送媽去老人院。」聲音似乎在哀求。兒子沉默片刻，他是在尋找更好的理由。「媽，其實老人院並沒有甚麼不好，妳知道老婆一但工作，一定沒有時間好好服侍妳。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顧，不是比在家裡好得多嗎？」「可是，阿財叔他..... 」

洗了澡，草草吃了一碗速食麵，兒子便到書房去。他茫然地佇立於窗前，有些猶豫不決。母親年輕便守寡，含辛茹苦將他撫養成人，供他出國讀書。但她從不用年輕時的犧牲當作要脅他孝順的籌碼，反而是妻子以婚姻要脅他！真的要讓母親住老人院嗎？仔問自己，他有些不忍。「可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，難道是你媽嗎？」阿財叔的兒子總是這樣提醒他「你媽都這麼老了，好命的話可以活多幾年，為何不趁這幾年好好孝順她呢？樹欲靜而風不息，子欲養而親不在啊！」親戚總是這樣勸他。兒子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的會改變初衷。

夕晚，太陽收斂起灼熱的金光，躲在山後憩息。一間建在郊外山崗的一座貴族老人院。是的，錢用得越多，兒子才心安理得。當兒子領著母親步入大廳時，嶄新的電視機，42 吋的螢幕正播放著一部喜劇，但觀眾一點笑聲也沒有。幾個衣著一樣，髮型一樣的老嫗歪歪斜斜地坐在梳化上神情呆滯而有一個老人在自言自語，有個正緩緩彎下腰，想去撿掉在地上的一塊餅乾吃。兒子知道母親喜歡光亮, 所以為她選了一間陽光充足的房間。從窗口望出去，樹蔭下，一片芳草如茵。幾名護士推著坐在輪椅的老者在夕陽下散步，四周悄然寂靜得令人心酸。縱是夕陽無限好，畢竟已到了黃昏，他心中低低嘆息。

「媽，我........我要走了！」母親只能點頭。他走時，母親頻頻揮手，她張著沒有牙的嘴，蒼白乾燥的咀唇在囁嚅著，一副欲語還休的樣子。兒子這才注意到母親銀灰色的頭髮，深陷的眼窩以及打著細紋臉。母親，真的老了！

他霍然記起一則兒時舊事。那年他才6 歲，母親有事回鄉，不便攜他同行，於是把他寄住在阿財叔家幾天。母親臨走時，他驚恐地抱著母親的腿傷心大聲號哭道「媽媽不要丟下我！媽媽不要走！」最後母親沒有丟下他。他連忙離開房間，順手把門關上，不敢回頭，深恐那記憶像鬼魅似地追纏而來。

他回到家，妻子與岳母正瘋狂的把母親房裡的一切扔個不亦樂乎。身高3 呎的獎杯── 那是他小學作文比賽「我的母親」第1 名的勝利品！華英字典─ ─ 那是母親整個月省吃省用所買給他的第一份生日禮物！還有母親臨睡前要擦的風濕油，沒有為她擦，帶去老人院又有甚麼意義呢？「夠了，別再扔了！」兒子怒吼道。﹝這麼多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎麼放得下我的東西 ﹞。岳母沒好氣地說。「就是嘛！你趕快把你媽那張爛床給抬出去，我明天要為我媽添張新的！」一堆童年的照片展現在兒子眼前，那是母親帶他到動物園和遊樂園拍的照片。它們是我媽的財產，一樣也不能丟！」「你這算甚態度？對我媽這麼大聲，我要你向我媽道歉！」「我娶妳就要愛妳的母親，為甚麼妳嫁給我就不能愛我的母親?]

雨後的黑夜分外冷寂，街道蕭瑟，行人車輛格外稀少。一輛寶馬在路上飛馳，頻頻闖紅燈，陷黃格呼一聲又飛馳而過。那輛轎車一路奔往山崗上的那間老人院，停車直奔上樓，推開母親臥房的門。他幽靈似地站著，母親正撫摸著風濕痛的雙腿低泣。她見到兒子手中正拿著那瓶風濕油，顯然感到安慰的說：「媽忘了帶，幸好你拿來！他走到母親身邊，跪了下來。很晚了，媽自己擦可以了，你明天還要上班，回去吧！」他囁嚅片刻，終於忍不住啜泣道：「媽，對不起，請原諒我！我們回家去吧！」

後語 >

隨著自己愈長大，看著父母親臉龐從年輕變憔悴，頭髮從烏絲變白髮, 動作從迅捷變緩慢，多心疼！父母親總是將最好、最寶貴的留給我們，像蠟燭不停的燃燒自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有沒有騰出一個空間給我的父母，或者只是在當我需要停泊岸時，才會想起他們……

其實父母親要的真的不多，只是一句隨意的問候：爸、媽，你們今天好嗎？」隨意買的宵夜，煮一頓再普通不過的晚餐; 睡前幫他們蓋蓋被子，天冷幫他們添衣服、戴手套……都能讓他們高興溫馨很久。

有時，我常在想：我希望我的子女以後如何對我那現在，我有沒有如此對待我的父母？我相信，人是環環相扣的；現在，你如何對待你的父母；以後，你的子女就如何待你。

人世間最難報的就是父母恩，願我們都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以恩之心孝順父母！

共勉之

生命不要求我們成為最好的，只要求我們作最大的努力！

老人安養院牆上發現的一篇文章

孩子！當你還很小的時候，我花了很多時間，教你慢慢用湯匙、用筷子吃東西。教你繫鞋帶、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳頭髮、擰鼻涕。這些和你在一起的點點滴滴，是多麼的令我懷念不已。所以，當我想不起來，接不上話時，請給我一點時間，等我一下，讓我再想一想……極可能最後連要說什麼，我也一併忘記。

孩子！你忘記我們練習了好幾百回，才學會的第一首娃娃歌嗎？是否還記得每天總要我絞盡腦汁，去回答不知道你從哪裡冒出來的嗎？所以，當我重覆又重覆說著老掉牙的故事，哼著我孩提時代的兒歌時，體諒我。讓我繼續沉醉在這些回憶中吧！切望你，也能陪著我閒話家常吧！

孩子，現在我常忘了扣扣子、繫鞋帶。吃飯時，會弄髒衣服，梳頭髮時手還會不停的抖，不要催促我，要對我多一點耐心和溫柔，只要有你在一起，就會有很多的溫暖湧上心頭。

孩子！如今，我的腳站也站不穩，走也走不動。所以，請你緊緊的握著我的手，陪著我，慢慢的。就像當年一樣，我帶著你一步一步地走。若為人子女也不懂得如何體諒他們，那他們便只能於痛苦中渡過餘生，黑暗中逝去 .... 讓他們知道家人才是最重要的。

愛情可以重新再找尋，但父母一生卻只有一個，要珍惜、珍重 !!!!

Tamu Gadang ke-11 2009

2009-10-16T13:32:00.003+08:00

from left, me, kek lai, belle, md nor (kp), jin, tiang

Finally, I had done my job.
05.10.2009 - 13.10.2009 is the 9 days I will not forget in my life.
9 days which is full with memory, emotions, sweet and tears.
9 days which I might not have another such another 9 days which is so perfect.
Conflict and problems were occurred before this but it's all over already.
I just want to live all my memory in the sweetest way.
I'm glad that I can work with strong people in this tamu gadang.
They had showed me what is the true meaning of birokasi in an organisation, a trust from a leader to follower, a trust between true friends.
I want to thanks to Hui jing ( she is always beside me when I told her my problem, min yin ( mentally support), belle( my gang in tamu), Md Nor( ketua pengarah the most respective ppl in tamu gadang), tiang ming chee ( who willing to teach me from the beginnning, francis ( my gang in tamu also).

YOU R JUZ NOTHING

2009-10-10T14:15:00.004+08:00

YOU ARE NOT MAN BUT LIKE A LADY.

YOU ARE NOT GENTLEMEN BUT ACTING IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS.

YOU ARE NOT A FAIR PERSON BUT KEEP SIDING YOUR FRIEND.

YOU DESERVED TO BE FAILED IN CELCOM MATTER EVEN THOUGH I DID PAID MY MERCY TO YOU. I STILL REMEBER YOUR WORDS:' IF I CAN SETTLE CELCOM AND 1BORNEO, I WILL TAKE THE REST OF THE JOB'!!!

MAYBE YOU FORGET ALREADY BUT YOUR WORDS CARVE DEEP INTO MY MIND AND HEART.
BECAUSE OF THIS, I TOLD MYSELF I WILL PROVED THAT I'M NOT AS STUPID AND NAIVE AS YOU THOUGHT.

FROM THE MOMENT YOU GET THIS POST IS NOT TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE BUT TO SHOW OFF TO SOMEONE YOU CAN BE AS MAN AS SHE THOUGHT.

FROM THE MOMENT WE HAVE PLACED IN THE SAME UNIT, YOU LOOK DOWN ON ME BUT YOU DIDN'T SHOW IT BECAUSE OF MY 2 FRIENDS BESIDE ME!!

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEVER REALIZED EVERYONE IS GROWING INCLUDED ME.
YOU CANT EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE THE SAME WHEN YOU FIRST MET ME.
PEOPLE CHANGE, SO DO I!!

FINAL AND LAST:
YOU DIDN'T WORTH MY RESPECT AND YOU ARE THE MOST IRRITIATING PERSON EVER IN MY 21 YEARS OLD LIFE.
YOU ARE SUCK!!!!

YOU ARE ARROGANT, AND IT WILL BECOME A STONE IN YOUR LIFE.
MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING, YOU CANT BUY EVERYTHING IN LIFE, YOU CANT USE MONEY TO BUY LOVE AND CARING.
YOU ARE JUST SO PATHETIC BECAUSE YOU DOES N'T KNOW HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE WHAT IS GOOD ANF BAD. YOU BLIND!!

3 MORE DAYS TO GO.
I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
IN FUTURE, I'M NOT GOING TO TREAT YOU AS FREIND IN MY LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A PASSENGER IN MY LIFE. YOU WILL BECOME MY HISTORY AND IT'S AN UNWANTED HISTORY.

Leader

2009-10-08T12:53:00.002+08:00

In my point of view,
no matter what offesence you received in a formal meeting.
Please behave like a leader should behave.
Ignoring ur supervisor is so immanners.
It showed that you are not qualified to become a leader.

Mood

2009-10-03T18:24:00.003+08:00

My mood swing is worse in this week. There were a lot of mistakes and supprised happened in the past few days. It's seriously make my mood swing from east to west, from heaven to hell. I felt my life is like a Roller crosster. It really make my life so challenging.

Anyway, Tamu Gadang ke-11 is coming in One day plus plus.
Everything will be fine after this.

I'm a Griffan.
I'm the king in the sky and noble in ground.
I'm popular
I'm lack of confidence. Life will only success if I try. No pain no Gain. Life is like a gamble, you will never know the result unless u bate for that. No pain no gain.
'Your life is half perfect because you are not willing to let go. Sometimes you have to risk something to gain something. You need to have confidence to try, and not be afraid to lose. Life is like a gamble, without risks there is no gain, just like a dick without balls cannot make a girl pregnant.'

sorrow for myself

2009-09-30T15:09:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, we really cant control what we have in our hand,
we thought we have but actually is the opposite effect,
Sometimes, we go for whatever we want,
we want desperately for a particular thing in our life and yet we just lost it,
Sometimes, we thought of cheer the people around us,
we thought we have the ability but the ability is slipping away from our hand,

Making a change ain't easy,
Turning a new leaf ain't simply

I just want to end this thing perfectly, why so hard and difficult for me?!
I can feel the tears dropped into my heart,
each drop of tear hurts my heart beating,
every each drop I can feel it so vividly in my mind.

If I'm facted to be failed for this time, I admit.
If god shut my door, I still have window with me.
But I cant see any window right now?!

Anyone can tell me where is the window?!

Random

2009-09-26T22:30:00.001+08:00

I was doing my OB assignment and I found this quote. It seems like giving me a hint to keep my spirit.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” Persistence is the key to leadership.
from Conrad Hilton.

I want to become a successful people so I need to keep moving..!!!

My current condition

2009-09-23T00:33:00.002+08:00

Even though, I'm back to Klang but my mind still at Sabah. I'm keep reminding myself what I have to done in this week. What is my task when I go back to Sabah. I just can feel the resposibility on my shoulder is getting heavier and heavier until the most stupid decision came into my mind : QUIT!!

I think I'm seriously tired since last semester until now. My tiredness might continue until next semester properly after Chinese New Year. I told my thoughts to my close friend just now. SHe gave me a lot of advices. The most effective sentences she had told me just now would be : 'try then fail is better than fail before try'. She knews what I'm worrying about, she knows my weakness. She gave me courage to keep myself keep fighting. Appreciate with what I have now.

Certainly, I feel it's so good to ahve a good friend like this. Especially to me ( a person who easily to give up and specimistic minded).

GAN EN!!

T-S-U-N-A-M-I..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!R.U.N!~!!!!~!~

2009-09-19T21:18:00.003+08:00

Yeay!! I can hear the fireworks around my house area. I went for movie named Tsunami with my 2 brothers. This was the first time 3 of us hang out together for movie!yeay!!
I will recommend all of you watch this movie. At the beginning might be quite boring but climax is after half pass movie. I cried. seriously.
I can see the
A true love from a father towards his daughter even though the daughter doesn't know he was her father.
A love towards a friend's daughter, a love that he willing to sacrifice himself.
A love as a brave recuever, he gave up his chance to live just to save a man whom try to warned him before to stayed away from his fiancee.
A love from a mother to buy a pair of shoes for her beloved son just to encourage her coward son to go for a job interview.
A love of a officer who were quite selfish to the citizenz there, he tried his best to pull a man even though his hand was injured at that time. He sacrificed himself at the end.

The message that the director try to convey through the movie is :
Love is the power to make a person sacrifice for another.
Family are the dearest person in your life.
Responsiblity is a commitment for an adult/ professionist.

p/s: Dont miss it..!!

Doulos!!

2009-09-16T03:27:00.003+08:00

I went for the only walking book fair in the world. It names Doulos. It's was actually organized by my seniors as their assignment. It's a big ship the size is quite similar with Titanic. The workers over there are work for charity. They follow this charity task because they are sincerely in Jesus Christ. They are the people who are willing to help the poor ones. It was actually a book fair which contain with more bible. The crew in the ships were so friendly, they smile to every one they met, they talked openly with the strangers. My senior had recommended me a book. Title : Geography atlas and ecopedia. He said it might be useful for me when I come to the 3rd year.
Lets you see the picture.
I will updates soon with the real one.

Privatized

2009-09-15T17:12:00.002+08:00

This is the second time I privatized my blog from the public. The reason is I need some private place which I can't simply show it in the public. Particularly all those insufficient feeling were came from among of my friends. That's the main reason!! I felt the more I'm involve in outside activity, the more I want to voice out but I can't do it in public because I'm a selfish person. I don't have the guts to voice out. I'm seriously weak sometimes. But I understand human growth from failure, they growth stronger and tougher as they overcome their obstacles. I have been busying with Convocation activity ever since I started my 3rd semester and that's the reason why my Organizational Behavior got 29/60. I don't even can pass the paper with 50%. My mood seriously got affected from that. Even though, I tried to comfort myself with the silly reason : 'You didn't study, so what you're expecting from that paper?' Yes. In fact, yes. I did not study for that. I only have time flip through the slides only.

I'm getting more and more responsibility on myself. If at the end of the day, my result really got affected and I will choose to let it go. Reputation and ability sometimes could bring you any prove only the piece of the paper which you're going to receive at the end of your degree course will determined your future.

I really need time to rest after PAP2010.

Another shot!!

2009-09-11T23:45:00.002+08:00

I just done my Pesta Ang Pau meeting few minutes ago. The first thought when I was in the meeting : I want to quit!!!

I can smell boom during the meeting. I don't like the behavior of certain people. All the people seems like showing of the importance for their position. Everyone is trying to show off how imortance is their unit is in the Pesta. Come on la, we cant work without each other man. We can move without any parts in the Pesta.

If these condition continue after Hari Raya, I'm seriously think of : Quitting!!!!!

Trust me people, I will consider about it!!!

words from my heart

2009-09-08T06:05:00.003+08:00

As last semester started, I'm putting more responsibility as possible on my shoulder. I'm not just busy with studies and assignments but lots of activity I'm involved. Maybe this time is because I'm one of the leader and I can actually felt the stress but I can hold my pressure for not voicing out to everyone because I don't this bad habit to be spread. Another 2 weeks, I can determine myself whether am I in the right track for my university life. Friends courage, parents hope and the pressure is never less from my shoulder but sometimes getting heavier. Sometimes, I really feel like turning everything and let me make the decision, let me role the world. It is the time to change!!Change but no one hears me!!I can't be so selfish to make my decision alone. We work as a team. It's no such thing as the upper person will only put the blame on the head but not the assistant and group members!! Come on la, do you ever know what you actually crapping man?! Do you thought your words will comfort us!? No way man! I will feel it as a shame because we as a team cant assist you to the max. This the reason if we fail at the end of the day.
Come on, don't let your emotion carry your attitude.
Come on, don't let your attitude affect your behavior.
Come on, don't let me guess what you trying to said or what you is in your mind
I'm not you!! I don't know what are you thinking about!!
Tell us, what you want to do!!
Please be fair and square wit us as your group members.
Please separate clearly from friends and team members.

Mystery reviewed

2009-09-05T12:15:00.003+08:00

The result already announced last night.
I was so shocked with the result last night.
I need some time to digest the solution.
The unit I got in Pesta Ang Pow 2010.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Head Of Publisity
I need to finish my task in Pesta Convo Tamu Gadang.
It's only a month from now.
Stand Still.

Patience

2009-09-04T19:17:00.004+08:00

I always keep myself reminded with this word. Patience, patience and patience.
I keep myself into a cool condition because it's worthless if I'm mad with certain thing.

Please. Bare in mind!!
People is always watching you from several direction.
People might try to threat you when you're not aware.
So, smile!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

p/s: I'm going for pap first meeting at 9am. Another meeting for pesta convo at the same time.
How am I going to split my body into two?!Actually I'm wondering what position I will get in pap.

Mystery shall review in the next post.

Friends

2009-08-30T07:23:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I just wonder am I too rude to everyone?
My point is to those I'm not close with?!
'Close'
What's the meaning of close?!
I'm try to pull down certain people but in university,
there's no friends among the people,
at least until now, No.
We only can categorize those 'friends' as coursemates, schoolmates, unimates,etc.
But I never delined that I have some good friend in my tertiary school life.
They know me very well just like my 3 buddies in my hometown.
They advise, guide and encourage me several times,
They gave me confident and courage to overcome my obstacles,
They were besides me whenever I need them,
They don't judge a person by its ' look',

Certainly, some of the people in uni, they used their beauty to attract people's attention,
even though, they really have their ability,
but some part of their were build upon their beauty and the wealth they had.
Maybe my perception is wrong, maybe I'm prejudice to certain people right now.
Maye I could get a tight slap from certain people, but I don't care because if you did means you are admitting yourselves as one of them.
I found that people is better don't tight to close to each other,
too close will encounter more problems....
problems will diverse our relationship..

It's better, stay away from crowd and breath above the others..

Tired?! Read it!! You will understand!!

2009-08-27T20:30:00.001+08:00

當對所有的事累的時候...〈寫得很好〉

「飛人」麥克喬登退休了，成為震驚全球的新聞，

耐吉的股票大跌，NBA 的陣腳大亂，

許多球迷都掉下了眼淚。

喬登也濕了眼眶，

尤其是當他看到自己的23號球衣被高高掛起時，

更以手遮面。

但他還是堅持地退休了，理由很簡單--

「雖然我體力還很棒，但是我的心已經疲累不堪。」

想起一位大陸的跳水名將，從小接受國家的栽培，

在世界比賽裡摘冠，眼看未來五年、

十年，可能都是她的天下。

才二十歲，她卻說要退休了，理由跟喬登一樣--
「我的心已累。」

大陸的溜冰名將陳露也是如此。

1995年，她拿下世界花式溜冰賽的冠軍，96年又拿下亞軍，

然後因為腿傷，成績一落千丈。

幸虧隔2年，在冬季奧運會上她又拿到了銅牌。

她高興極了，因為她早已打算在那次奧運之後轉為職業溜冰手。

那面銅牌，是她在體育界的謝幕之作。

至於那次的金牌得主，美國的李頻絲姬不也一樣嗎？

「我不要再參加這樣的比賽了，我要跟爸爸多聚聚，

溜了十幾年，比了十幾年，我累了。」

另一部戲的男主角，在外面偷情，

太太找到他，要他自己決定，

是選那個作攝影師的情婦，還是選娘家富有的妻子，

男人跟著老妻走了，只對情婦淡淡地說了一句話：

「我累了！」

人都會累，也都會喊累。

我的女兒，碰到學校功課多，前一天睡的晚，

當天下午又有才藝課的日子，總在晚飯後說她累了。

我自己，年輕時能下午文章、晚上畫畫，

仍然精力充沛，

現在卻只要下午寫篇文章，晚上就要喊累。

我那91歲的老母，更常喊累，

說去公園走一下，就累。

說朋友都死了，好累。

說「活著，真累」！

常想，我女兒、我自己，

與我的老母同樣說「我累了」，

其中卻有多大的不同？

孩子累，是身體累。

打個盹，喝瓶可樂，可能就不累了。

青年累，是工作壓力的累。

當工作完成，壓力解除，就不累了。

老年的累，是對人生的累，

拖著一個「臭皮囊」，走過幾十年的歲月，

該看的都看了， 能玩的都玩了，

不再好奇、不再激情，

他們的那句「我累了」，

是對生命失去了興趣。

人生的累，說不定也像旅行。

出發時興緻勃勃，一路有說有唱；

幾天趕場下來，

開始有了疲態、有了病號，

遊覽車上就少了歌聲，多了鼾聲。

漸漸旅行要結束了。

翻開行程表，最後一天的節目是

「上飛機，回到美好的家。」

每個人都會興奮地說：「好極了！要回家了！」

可是往前想想；

如果那麼想家，當初何必花錢出去旅行？

往後想想；

如果只有回家好，

為什麼待上一陣子，又會想出去走走？

人的一生，

就是在醒與睡、累與不累之間。

也彷彿是機器，要不斷操作、不斷保養，

不斷生產，也不斷加油、不斷供電。

直到有一天，

把那電源拉下，不再推上去，人生就結束了。

記得有一次去看一位病危的老將軍。

「我沒病，也不會病死；如果我死了，是累死的。」

老人家在病床上沙啞著說：

「病死，多慘？我打了一輩子的勝仗，

為什麼要在最後輸給病。

所以我是累死的，我只是累，累就要休息，

那不是被勒令從人生退休，那是我主動請辭啊！」

話說完，沒多久，他就死了。

喪禮上，沒人哭，大家都說他活的太累了，自己走的。

很欣賞這老將軍的哲學。

有一天，我走，

我也是因為累了，

寧願高高興興地回到我溫暖的天家。

我相信，在家待一陣子。

我又會心動、行動-參加另一個生命的旅程。

男朋友說：

我每天這麼辛苦的工作，為的還不是咱們的將來？

我每天的工作壓力已經這麼大了，

為什麼妳就不能多體諒我一點兒？

我也想多陪陪妳呀，

可妳能不能也多想想咱們的未來呢？

女朋友心裡想，每天下班就是聽你抱怨公司的事情，

難得休假出去玩，

還得分擔你對收假後未完成工作的憂慮，

眼前我都快忍不住想跟你提分手了，

你竟還在那兒大言不慚地同我談未來？

～取自生活周遭～

------------------------------------------------------------------------

努力找到自己生活上的平衡點，

輕鬆快活地過一輩子，

不只是一個夢想，

也是對自己與人生的責任！

自己不幸福快樂，

又怎麼能讓別人幸福快樂呢？

臉上沒有笑容、或者是滿嘴抱怨的人，

就算再怎麼犧牲付出，

真的能夠讓別人打從心裡頭幸福快樂嗎？

每封信都代表一份緣的傳遞.......
看信是一種幸福、它代表你有空閒..

沒空看信也是一種幸福
它代表你有比看信更重要的事忙著..

Another trip!! Kundasang!!!

2009-08-25T12:46:00.005+08:00

Car Broken down!!

Sun rise at 5am!!!

Hot Spring view..!!

Rafflesia!!!The biggest flower in the world!!

From left: min yin, frankie, me, jun,jing

KK mountain at 6pm from the fresh market!!

KK mountain at 6am from my hotel!!

The first sun rise in my life..!!

the flower seems so small on my hand!!haha

Hot spring!!here we come!!

Another Snape!!

Our hotel!!gals on the left, guy on the right!!

p/s: I'm satisfied with this trip!! Even though some accident happened!!
I wish to go travel with you guys again!!!

Kelly Bay

2009-08-23T11:28:00.003+08:00

I went for Kelly Bay from 18 and 19 August.
Photos will show everything!!
p/s: I hope we can gang out together next time!!

Recover from Sorrow

2009-08-16T13:03:00.002+08:00

Thanks for all the concerns on the last post. It took me long time enough to recover my heart and drag my attention back from emotion. School blocked msn since last 2 weeks. So now, I only can use msn when my roommate is out for dating then I can borrow her broadband. She is kind enough to us. The feeling is so good if you can online in your room!! The feeling is just like you are at your own house..!!

I might not update that frequent from now onwards because I will be busy with assignments and activity and examssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

Cant wait to go back on September..!!!!

p/s: I met Alex last night, he gave me a birthday suprise!!
My favourite vella wine ( 5 litles)!!!whahahha..thanks alex!!!

sorrow

2009-08-11T10:45:00.002+08:00

It has been more than a year I had studied in Sabah. From all these times, I had came through a lot of obstacles but I'm glad that there's always a bunch of friend crossed over those difficulties with me. Things became so different until I called up my brother on Sunday night. He was a lone in his room. I was talking to him especially in his academic. He might lost his chance to continue his studies if he failed to achieved average marks in his final examination. I know it has become his pressure after he failed in his mid term.

Once I asked him about our family. He told me his opinion which has dragged me into the deep sea. I have lost my concentration during the whole monday morning and I decided to watch a movie after class. I'm silly enough thought that I can overcome this problem easily but I couldn't. My brother who is always think about my parents told me that : HE WANTS TO LEAVE THIS HOME FOR FURTHER STUDY!
What he's trying to convey is he want to stay at hostel instead of home. I was shock with his words and I cant figure what has make him came to these minded. But I told him if you really want to leave this home please put effort in your academic and look at me. I can leave the house with praised and proudly. He remained silence.

I had realised the seriousnessof my brother so I decided to tell me mother. I tole her please appreciate with what you have. You have a good son who didn't ask for more, who is obedient all this while. If he has this minded which means he will do it once he is ready. I don't kow what happenned to my father who is blind with al his kindness. Dad wasn't always care what happenned to my fatty brother. Even myself can feel the unfairness between two brothers, what you exect my fatty brother to react?! pretend blind or deaf all the time?! Even he tried to ignore those unfairness, human will collapse onve they have reached thier optimum tolerate.

Mum cried in the phone with me last night. I can't bare with that dissappointed that my mum faced in this family. I wanted to help her but what can I do?!nothing!!! I can only give her courage from here. She is been feeling so tired all these time but she stay strong for us. She put all her hopes on my fatty brother and me. I know I musn't fail her.

At these time, I must encourage my brother to keep up his work in study and always bring the good news to my mother to delight her boring life.
yeanyeon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Special dedicate this song to my beloved mother and fatty brother:

Josh Groban - You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved

p/s: my youngest brother been expell from school. Actualy I'm expeced that to happen. no suprise at all. If he continue like that, I hope the next person to take him is police.

Busy life again

2009-08-06T14:17:00.002+08:00

It has been more than one week I'm away from my blog. I got no choice because library wireless very weak. I don't online unless is necessary. Konvokesyen Tamu Gadang-11 paper work is in the process now. Letters will be ready to fax and follow the details by calls.

I'm not really feeling well recently.Caught into headache and dizzy since Monday. Flue H1N1 is getting worse in UMS. Several students has been wearing mask to lectures or any where they want to travel. Majority of us still dont aware with the serious condition. As I know, there's 4 students have been certified positive to H1N1. the most stupid decision is they only quarantine all the students who has interact with all the patients but not the whole school. I really pray hard for all the people in the university. I don't want uni to be quarantined because I only can stay in my room.

Hope August pass faster.
I wish I'm in September now.

21st Birthday celebration

2009-07-30T13:23:00.006+08:00

happy birthday, eve ( my roommate)!!!!

28.07.2009

I'm officially 21st years old. There are lots of advantages after I turn into adult. I can go in casino (if I'm at klang right now, I will straight headed up to genting), I can vote for the coming election ( BN, you are not going to have my vote, blek!!), I can marry I'm so desperate to ( joking man!!)

Chew hong,kkkl, lilian, chealsea, oi wey, aen and karien gave me a 'surprise' at 12am.They bought me a piece of chocolate banana from secret receipe( my favourite) and a traditional egg.

Thanks for their effort for that. But I'm seriously tired on that night.They forced me to finished the cake and egg so it affected my sleeps. I cant sleep until 2am because my stomach is full with cakes and egg.

I skipped class in Tuesday's afternon. Fong Mein and I went to Karamunsing for karaoke session. We sang for 4 hours with only 9.20 bucks without any tittsnitts but only a glass of drink. Anyway, it's worth it after all. She accompany me for the whole afternoon because I don't have anyone to accompany on my 21st birthday. I'm gratitude with what she has done to me and she's really a true friend in Sabah. Thank yea.

love story!!! Bot of us love the sog so much!!!

Then, I ate maggee with my drama as usual. My another roommate named Dana ( she's same birthday with me) treat us McD( large set). SO, my stomach is full with food and I feel unconfortable with it.

Then, I received hui jing's message. She asked me to get prepard in 15 minutes. I was about to go to bed at that time. After I have change my clothes, I falled a sleep util Min Yin called me.

We went to atmosphere but unfortunately atmosphere closed at 11pm. All of us were so shocked. At the end, we went to the bed at kk.

They gave me an American chocolate cake and a DOREAMON as a present.

Thanks to francis, frankie,min yin and hui jing!!

Without you guys accompany me for the night, I will definitely feel so empty on my birthday!!

Photos!~!~!~!~!~!~!

doreamon

the bed

looks alike wei!~!~!~!

the gals

the 4 of us

the guys

another snape!~!~

frankie and Me!

my birthday cake!

Francis insisted to put the little doreamon on the cake!!

thanks for all the whies via message and facebook!!!

thanks a lot!~!~!~

p/s: I enjoyed my birthday celebration.I will take have another celebration at the end of this year. Although is a litttle bit too late, but I just want to celebrate with my parents and close friends.

friends at Klang, c u at sept!!!

Anticipate

2009-07-27T14:41:00.002+08:00

I want to review my solution for my last post. I'm taking reading and writing for my English in this semester. I'm required to write some essay and summary to complete my English course. In order to make myself prepared for that, I will start practice my writing skill in my blog. So, I needs a favor from all my readers. Please do correct my mistake in writing through email or comment. Either one is not a problem for me. I know I have to face my weakness. I know I have to do it.
So, guys!! help me. Thanks a lot

p/s: Tomorrow is my Big day! 21st Birthday already. I'm alone at Sabah. I don't have the passion to celebrate with people. I cant ask or request my friend to celebrate with me asdin they have their own business to busy with.
Mum & dad, I hope you are here with me.

happy birthday!!

Writting and reading

2009-07-24T12:49:00.002+08:00

From today onwards, I will start my blogging with full proper writing skill. Proper writing is in the sense of return my post in full English sentence.

I will review my main reason in the next post!!
see yea!!

p/s: looking for the day to come!!

瀟灑人間

2009-07-21T10:55:00.003+08:00

‘靜靜的我﹐正如我悄悄的來﹐
我揮一揮衣袖﹐不帶走一片雲彩’

徐志摩的名句。
通常被用著離別的情景。

每當有親人離去的時候﹐這句話一定會在我的腦海里揮只不去.

答應過你的事﹐我會盡力辦到。
安息吧﹐大伯母。

p/s: 昨日好想哭但是沒有眼淚﹐往日我都不能控制自己。看來﹐我真的長大了。

Obituary

2009-07-20T15:37:00.002+08:00

I had received a message from my mother around 11am. She bought me a bad news. My eldest aunt passed away in this morning around 6am. Even though, I have already prepared myself for the bad news but I just can't accept it in that moment.

I'm not every close to her. In fact, my age is just similar with her granddaughter but she cares a lot for me. I'm so regretted I didn't visit her during the last summer holiday after I got myself home.How shameful is this!!I can't forgive myself from that. According to my mother, she was been visitting the hospital quite frequent since December last year. She was admitted to Limpha cancer after she went for doctor's consultation.

Last year, somewhere around April was her husband, my eldest uncle leaved us to another atmosphere. I still can remembered every single thing during the funeral. Her face was burst with tears, she can't afford to lose her husband. And now, they shall met again in heaven.

After I received the message, I can't concentrated on my work not even listen to the lectures. I just feel like lock myself in the bathroom let the water flash on my body and I cry. I couldn't find any word to describe my current situation. In my heart, I was hoping she can wait until September. Wait for me to go back to say goodbye to her.
After she leaved, I'm sure our family might seperate aparts. These is because the leaved of the elderlies, youngs one wouldn't have the passion to live as a family.

Another my family member leaved me on July. The last one was my grandmother. Her funeral held on my 13th yearsold birthday. There was the first birthday she wasn't with me but with her colded body which lied in a coffin. At that moment, I just wished that she could wish me happy birthday.
My 21st birthday is one more week from now. I have no mood to celebrate and I don't feel like celebrating.

July, nothing cheerful for me but sadness leaved behind.
I might forget it one day but the scar will keeps me reminded forever.

" Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take cartain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted."

Harry Potter's ROckz..!!!!

2009-07-17T16:46:00.003+08:00

Harry Potter and the half blood prince!!
I have been waiting for this movie since year 2007. After this movie, I have to wait for another one year for the seventh movie. (expected showing at year Dec 2010)
This is the first time I got the chance to watch harry potter series on the first day and it's first show!!Overall, the sixth harry potter is much more better than the fifth movie!!
Actually, in my point of view the fifth book also became the most boring book in the whole series.
Anyway, enjoy the technique they had used in the movie especially for the magic performed.
The location they showed in movie and the actor's performance has been improving from time to time.Besides that, harry potter and the half blood prince contained a little bit more Humor among Harry, Ron and Hermoine.

I think I will watch it again.yeay!!!

So, guys. Don't miss it!!

Anticipating

2009-07-14T11:42:00.004+08:00

I went out with kylye,lilian and oi wey for dinner. Before that, we headed to hospital because kylye need to go for X-ray for her hand.

Kylye bought up a topic during dinner time: yeanyeon, what you want for your birthday?!

_________________________________________________________________
And this morning, Min yin and francis did asked me for the same question.

Actually, I have been figuring about this topic since few months ago.
What I wished for this 21 years old birthday?!
I wished to have a birthday party with all my friends.
I'm so envy with ailin because she had her birthday celebration at KEC.

At this time, I just wish that my family is with me for these special day.
But I know, it's just a dream.

There's always dream keeps me alive.

Random

2009-07-13T12:59:00.004+08:00

When I was still a teenage, friends meant a lot for me.
At this time, I will pay my prestigious to the closed one only.
The rest, I will let it go like just like that.
Because,
Everyone has their life to carry on, whatever they are busy with,
is for their future.

I might be just a passengers or a small potato for certain people,
but only my decision could draw the map of my life.

No matter how crooked the road will be,
walk with my chest up and confidence,
another sunshine is waiting for me.

I'm back..!!

2009-07-06T10:19:00.002+08:00

I slept at 3.30am on friday and I woke up at 5am.
1.30 hours kept me awake for another 20 hours.I cried on plane because I can't help it any more.
I reached hostel at 1pm. Thanks to my friend who came back 2 days earlier than me had rented a car for us.
I got back my room, my table, my bed and ALL MY ROOMMATES..!!!
YEAY!!!
I felt so warm with them because we had stayed together for one year, so it's just like we came to the place that we are belong to.
I had a very tight sleep on friday night. Apart of it was because of tiredness, another reason was I'm sleeping on the same bed!!Haha!!

So far so good for my new sem.
Another headache problem is I only can take 17 credit hours for this sem.
Such a waste of my another 4 credit hours.
Thanks to Business chief officer.
They caused us this problem.

p/s: I will update as soon as possible.
Take care, guys!!!

Take care,ppl!!

2009-07-04T01:23:00.002+08:00

I'm going to leave Klang on 10.20am later.
I cant sleep at all.
I always did that on the day before I went back.
This is because I could sleep on a new bed with tiredness body.
So I will have a tight sleep.
This is to avoid myself of getting homesick.
Take care people.
See you guys on September.
Bye, dad.
Bye, mum..
Bye, fatty lee...
Bye, Bryan lee....
Bye, my frens at Klang.....

Primary gathering

2009-07-01T12:28:00.004+08:00

I went out with primary school frens last night.

I'm sorry I cant call all of them because:

I lose some of their contact due to my stupid phone!!

The restaurant is : Restaurant Mediterranian, Bukit Tinggi.

Environment not bad.

Drinks not bad.

Food not bad.

Chef also quite handsome.

Photossssssssssssssss!!

当你和他们在一起，你将恢复你最真的一面。

我永远珍惜你们!!

保重!

It's just did!!

2009-06-26T23:05:00.002+08:00

Result's day falled on today.

Micheal Jackson passed away today caused by cardiac arrest.

I'm here to mourn for Michael Jackson even though I'm not really interested in him.

All I knew about him is all the surgery he have had done to himself!~!!~!~~~!!~!~!~!

I'm here to pay my appreciation to those who have helped me through the whole last semester at Sabah.

Your words gave me spirit to continue my fighting.

Thanks a lot.

Little Brother

2009-06-25T16:33:00.002+08:00

My little brother created another crime again. Her tuition teacher was my former teacher in primary school. She called me up and told me that my brother had taken an old handphone and sold it to his tuitionmate until the mother came to tuition centre asked for the money back.
The handphone came with cellphone,charger and activate sim card!!
The price is Rm150. How expensive is it

I'm thinking just now why must he so smart to think of doing all this stuff. For a standard six student, he really think put of the box. If he was taught in a good condition since young, he will be the star. What's the reason make him become so BArbarian, Moron, Idiot!!
All this while I have been persuaing myself with the reason of he's still young and guys usually immature at this age. At this time, I seriously BEHTAHAN!!!!!

First dream :
I always imagine in my mind.
There's another parents suddenly pop-up and told my parents: I'm so sorry Mr.Lee and Mrs. Lee, I'm afraid you had taken my daughter (which is me) away from us 20 years ago.
Then I have to follow them go back to a new home and I have 4 elder brothers. They treat me very very good. The best thing is I'm free from disaster. I'm away from the brother's problem, away from family fanancial problems.
What I need to sacrifice is I have to delete all the memory and continue my new life.

The story above is just a part of my imagination and IT WILL NEVER COME TRUE IN MY LIFE!!!

Second dream:
One day, two police officer came to my house and they found that My little brother was involved in criminal. If there is no any other objection, we will send them to juvenil jail until he's 18 years old.

You know what?! I will be the first one who clapping my hand hardly to let people know how realise I'm after he was caught into juvenil jail..!!

The second story above is one of my dream that it might come true. I really hope this day will come faster.

**pray harder**

I MAD on my DAD

2009-06-20T15:02:00.003+08:00

I started today with a very nice morning. I went Eng Ann pasar Pagi with my mum and chat with my mum for the whole morning at shop. Dad came back with every good mood and he bought Rojak for us. We were enjoying our Rojak while my uncle came to our shop.

Adults started to have their chatting. I was reading my story book at the side. At 1pm, mum ask me to accompany her to fetch my youngest brother ,so I did follow.
After I got back from shop, my youngest brother was craving for food so I passed a box of cake to him. I don't know what he did, the whole box of cake dropped on the florr. I was mad at first and I ordered him to pick up all the cakes and eat it. He refused.

After that, dad instructed me to pick up one of the cake on the floor which means he want to eat it. He asked me for tissue but unfourtunately, I don't have any. He was wrapping the cake with a slice of tissue quite a while then I said just eat it if you want to eat it. This was what my grandma did when I was young. She will just blowed sain or dirty stuff away and swollen the food.

Frankly speaking, I dont mind the dirt unless the food was terribly poluted. My dad was playing around his cake with his stupid ass, then I was like: do you want me to take a photo of your sexy post?' Then I get my camera ready.

WHen I went near by him, he grabbed a letter and hit on my forehead.
THIS IS THE THING GOT ME MAD ON HIM!!!

I was stunned then I move backwards and take out my book and start reading.
He said : you dare to said your brother very small gas. Look at yourself, you are also apart like him.'
I holded my volume and controlled my anger said: If want to play also no need to hit people's forehead want ma!
For me, hitting people forehead is an extremely IMPOLITE and super Kurang Ajar attitude!!
This's just because of he is my dad if he's not. I will straight yelled on him and I dont give a DAMM on the people!!

He fighted back: friend beat you can la, I just hit your head softly then u mangamuk now..!!
I know if I fight back then the case will getting serious, I just said : 'okok, nothign now!'
He start to throw all his stuff around and making very terrible noice in the shop.
I was thinking, how silly you are as a father?! Dont you think you are a bit over?!

From the moment I was back from my holiday, I tried my very best to give him my commitment. What he asked me to do , I will said : ok, no problem. I swear to god, I tried my very best not to make him angry.
He always beat my hand and said: your hand so fat, nice to beat!
Nevermind, I let you beat.
You tell me: see my fatty daughter!!
Fine, I admitted it.
Becaus eI know you were joking on me.

BUT NOT THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes parents really have to learn to respect their childred.
Sometimes, I dont feel like coming back to this home. Eventhough, I missed them so much but I rather keep all the sweet memory in my mind than involved in such a stupid, pointless fight.

你虽然是我老爸，我希望你会学会尊重我们。
老爸不是永远都对的。

2009年6月20日，父亲节前夕
我和老爸闹翻了!!!!!!!!

Birthday Party & Plug Teeth

2009-06-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

I went to Alex's house for his 21st Birthday celebration. This is the first time most of the setia people were gathered at his house. We were making noises on the road and ignored all the weird eyesight from Alex's neighbour!! ( Dont care la, one a time in our life le!!)

I went there after I taken my dinner with my family. Actually all the foods is quite nice because got Bbq, fred rice, spaghetti, etc..!! Pauline they all were bussying with their chicken wings and sotong!! I got free ham, sossej from jessey and pauline!! Thanks a lot, gals!!

We were non stop snapping pictures around because we weren't in gathering for quite a long time already!!So, must appreciate the chance la. I saw Alex's girl friend was busy with all the stuff, clean table, bbq chicken wing for people la, can see she is very kan jiong for Alex's birthday!! ALex Lim, you are luckly to have her wei!!

Last but not least, I really hope our friendship will last as long as we could.

I will always remembered the time we had spend together!!

p/s: i went for dentist again on today to plug my bad teeth. I think the doctor put to strong medicine already until I cant move my mouth properly for the whole morning. After that, I feel pain on my gums!! I really it will over soon!!

p/p/s: Another 2 weekends, I need to go back Sabah!! Time really flies!!I'm afraid my tears will drop again at airport!!sighs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dentist

2009-06-16T22:41:00.003+08:00

I went to government dentist department at the opposite of SMK Convent Klang. I waited there for 1 hour and 15 minutes. While I was waiting for the my turn , I have noticed a blue board in front of me. Its stated every patient will be served in 60 minutes. I was wondering how they maintained their efficiency.

After nearly one and a half hour of waiting, finally it has come to my turn.
She is a Malay lady doctor.
She asked me with very soft voice: Apa nak kamu buat hari ini?
I : I wanna check my back teeth on my right. The tooth has a big hole for several years.
After she checked : Oh no, kamu kena cabut gigi itu sebab lubang yang terlalu besar dan telah emnjejas gusi kamu.
I ( was stunned at the moment) : huh? Bolah tak saya tak nak cabut gigi itu sebab nanti tak ada gigi la! Saya masih muda ni.
Doctor : Oh, jika kamu tak cabut sekarang nanti setelah gigi itu telah kumpul banyak kuman dan akan mengakibatkan semua gigi kamu. So, kamu nak cabut atau cuci. Pilih salah satu saja.
I : ok. Boleh saya buat cuci hari ini dulu dan datang hari lain untuk cabut gigi saya.

I was suffering through the whole process until I broke my slippers while the doctor was cleaning my teeth.
The helper in the clinic ( I dont know whether he is a houseman or helper la) ask me go pay 2 bucks at the counter and pass my patient card back to him. I was like : huh?! why must I pass it back to them. haiya!! Dont care la!!

The total payment is 3 bucks ( registration and service charge)
Actually, I was just like an Allien because all the people around me mostly Malay and Indian. I'm the only chinese ( young gal) with them!!
Hey people. Public place la. Chinese can not go kah?! My parents also got pay INCOME TAX one le!!

haha.

p/s: I will go for dentistry again in this friday to say goodbye to my teeth!~!~!~!~!~!haiz~~~~

改头换面

2009-06-15T13:17:00.002+08:00

好久好久都没有为我的部落格添加任何的花絮.
整个假期都很空闲，让我觉得放假有一点无聊，
还有两个星期，我必须回去了，
心中的不舍，理所当然，
不回去，我还能做什么，
在家当米虫，在家增肥而已(老实说还真的胖了不少，哈哈).

原归正传，
我的老友说她不明白我的部落格的主题和简讯。

The previous blog head : My life my story
The recent blog head : One life One Story 我的笔迹，心迹(wo de bi ji,xin ji)
Reason to change: I only have one life so that should be only One story about my life.
The mandarin words( 心迹)represent my thoughts in this dairy. Every single post that I created contained my feeling.
笔迹= what I wrote in this blog it has become a history in my life and all these words will trace to another page just like the writting that we wrote in our exercise book.

分久必合，合久必分 ( fen jiu bi he, he jiu bi fen)
I learned this from the movie of Red Cliff and further explaination in the book of " Romance of three Kingdoms".
The literally for this sentence is: no matter how close our relationship is, there will be a day we will separate in apart, we might cant meet each other due to long distance or lost contact of someone. At the same time, if we are apart from each other in long time, we shall meet again in some where in this world.

尽管是一时瑜亮，我永记与心 ( jin guan shi yi shi yu liang, wo yong ji yu xin)
瑜亮= fireworks, its only shows in a sudden and the sky will go back to darkness again.
Thich means that, even though the happy moment we spend with each other is only a few seconds but I will keep it in my memory.

These is new literally i had learned through the whole summer holiday, it tells me that no matter how close you are with certain people when it comes for the time we have to say good bye to each other. The most important thing is we remembered this person who actually existed in your life and brighten your life.
So, learn to become a person that let go faster because the more you cant walk out from the situation we slowest you can excel in your life.

I have a friend from Sabah, he told me if you are unhappy in certain thing please let yourself angry or express your feeling in 24 hours thats is more than enough. Do not carry your thoughts to your future. It's quite unfair to god because He is trying to give a better tommorrow.

My old friend, do u understand now?!

萧煌奇 - 阿嬷的话

2009-06-12T14:42:00.002+08:00

萧煌奇 - 阿嬷的话
在细汉的时阵阮阿嬷对我尚好
甲尚好的东西拢会留乎我
伊嘛定定带我去幼稚园看人在七桃
看人在办公伙儿
看人在觅相找
伊定定跟阮说
叫阮着要好好仔读册
呒通大汉像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狈ㄛ
在彼个时阵　
阮拢听拢呒
阿嬷
你到底是在讲什么
大汉了后　
才知影阿嬷的话
我会甲永远永远放块心肝底
想到一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声阿嬷

想到一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声阿嬷

当我听到一半的时候，眼泪已经狂飙。
字字句句仿佛像刀子一样
狠狠地往我的胸口插。

我很想大声的喊: 阿嬷，我很想念您!!!!

Books + Magic!!

2009-06-06T20:04:00.003+08:00

I went to Summit, USJ for popular bookfair, MPH Jimat bookfair at Bandar Bukit Tinggi and AEON popular on friday. I was stucked in the traffic jam for 30 minutes just to cross the stupid Klang bridge. I went to the wrong way when we were on our way from USJ to BBT and we saw an incident happenned. The lorry turnover to the other side. The best part is the lorry is on the other way, then it had nothing to do with us what! How come Malaysians cant decreades their curiousity on these common business and pay more attention to our political issues. Indirectly, I'm trying to tell the people please do not 'KPC' for next time.

Back to the topic!! The first time ever in my life shop for books!! Yes!! Is books!! No clothes,pents or anything else but books!!

I dont feel my purse bleeding when I paid for 127 bucks for all the new books I have now.

As you can see most of it is Mandarin books or I should say my book rack is full of Chinese books except Harry Potter series and some of the novel!!

Booklist :

Romance of Three Kingdoms ( Mandarin version) : RM25

巴金: ‘家’， ‘春’，‘秋’: RM40

三国志: RM10

Chicken Soup ( Mandarin version) : RM 12.99

Nicholas Sparks : The choice : Rm 10

Chinese novel ( for mother ) : RM 4.90

Another English Books : Rm 7

DVD MOvie from Takeshi Kaneshiro : Accurancy of Death : RM 12.99

p/s: I will spent my holiday with them before I went back to Sabah. I want to finish " Romance of Three Kingdoms"

_______________________________________

I just came back from Subang Parade with family. Mum thought of buying the limited edition bag but too bad somebody came before us. At the end, She had choosen another type of bag which is looks younger, nicer and energetic but of course the price also very nice la.

Subang Parade has Magic shows but my mum can see the Magician fail to become a Magician because my mum saw the fella punya trick!! wahahahah.

Please la, where got magic in this world?!

You thought Harry Potter kah?!

有感而发

2009-06-04T15:55:00.002+08:00

这几天让我领悟了一些做人很简单的道理，
成功的人都很谦虚，
他们对别人所给的称赞都是从心里说谢谢。

谦虚固然很重要，
但在这现实的社会里，
再谦虚的人也会变，
当然我不是想一把棍打翻整船人，
也是会有好人的。

每个人都各为其主，
在历史里，每个人都必须效忠于自己的主人，
违令者，斩!!!
现在呢，官官相互，
早时的贪官腐败，依然联绵不断，
从古至今，多少人死于腐败分子的刀下，
但我们所给的惩罚不是劳改，不是监禁，也不是发放边疆。
我们领袖说给的惩罚是看你有没有把裤子拉下，
这些事要是到了国际的新闻界去，试问我们颜面何存。

我曾经听我的中国的亲戚说，
要是那里有所为的job fair，
那些去应证的人多得可以以以下的句子来形容
博士一走廊，硕士一礼堂，学士一草场。
听起来还蛮押韵的，
理大的风波让我觉得我们一定要好好的学习，
不要把让我们的脸给赔光了!!

华人的数据是占了奖学金的10%，4000份海外奖学金，
华裔才暂由400 份，真可悲，
公共教育部部长说会把所有的奖学金给优异的学生，
我们才有280位左右，为什么马六甲的第二优秀生却那不到，
我看你应该对此做去解释。
魏家祥部长，
我从来都没只望你会对我们华校生做任何的贡献，
我只是希望你，
别再让我们拥有任何的期望，
因为你所说的话，
连保险公司都不敢担保。

背影

2009-06-01T22:40:00.002+08:00

你爱白色的衣袍，你穿起来特别爽朗。

你手里都习惯拿着扇子，扇子是翅膀形状的，

你说你得随时保持冷静，但你的眼神告诉我你不想是不冷静的人。

你说是习惯，我希望你一直都维持着这习惯因为我觉得这样的你很想一名智者。

无可否认，你的确是高人一等。

看着你的背影

被月光拉得长长的

你的眼里

漏出了惆怅

眉头深锁，

扇子在你的缓缓扇动下

你的衣袍也被扇风缓缓的飘动

我知道大战即将展开

我也会随着大家远离这片乡土

但是我希望留在你身边

我也清楚

分久比合，合久必分

暂之天地之间敌友难分

人生纵是一别，天涯共赏明月。

Updates ^.^

2009-05-30T18:16:00.002+08:00

I'm away from my blog for exactly one week. I'm quite busy this week because got Dumpling Festival and my nanny ' death anniversarry'. My job is to become a driver fetching people and traveling here and there to get all the stuff mum's needed for cooking.

I went for interview on friday at Petaling Jaya. Yee Kuan had showed me the road on the day before and felt so guity that she have to show me the road and used her owb petrol and Touch and Go for the whole journey. The whole session was quite bored but the trainer was quite friendly to all of us so that's the reason I didn't fall a sleep during the introduction.

I went for interview just hope to get job more frequent during weekend. Eventually, I had received a job at Giant bukit tinggi for sheiltox product. The people message me at the midnight on wednesday and I said : Yes. Guess what, when I was craving job, no job came forward. When I had accepted another job, another one only text me ion the next morning.

So, I actually have to meet up the people on Friday to get my uniform but unfortunately the lady had some communication with her staff so ended up her stuff didn't call and yet didn't meet up at last. I had make my decision at 9pm last night to let go the job because I didn't get any call from the people until 12 midnight, the lady called me and asked me surveral question.

She was quite shocked I told her that I cant go for work. She was stunned but I did explain to het due to the communication error so I have to plan for my time. She didn't blame me becaus e she also know is her fault.

Anyway, she is a very nice girl through the way she talked to me and the way she carry out her message, can showe she has quite ok punya character. I'm looking forward to meet her for next time.

Alright! I have lose 180 bucks just for the sake of I want to help my mother.
Sincerely, in my heart I told myself, if I didnt get the job then is ok at least I can help my mum because I felt she seriously need my help on today. Besides, I only can help her in certain months and I have to get back for study. Family for me is everything at this time. So, no harm and hurts feeling!!

Alright, If the fella is going to call me at 9pm. I'm going out with my gang!!

Meat Dumpling

2009-05-24T13:17:00.003+08:00

I went to my unlce's house for meat dunpling making at Botanic. This is the first time I learned to make meat dumpling. Eventhough the process seemed like very easy but in order to put all teh rice, mushroom, oysters and meat together is rather hard for me. You have to flow the bamboo leaves properly and tied it properly so that the ingredient inside wouldn't drop out form the leaves when it was bolied with hot water.

What is the reason the meat dumpling has to tie at the higher position with strings?! According to mummy said, meat dunpling will become heavier after it was boiled.

So, show you some picture ba.

p/s: my stupib bro eaten my meat dumpling which I special make for myself. It's 'mushroon dumpling' . Bryan, I hates you..!!!

Updates

2009-05-22T00:33:00.003+08:00

20.05.2009

I was suppose went to greenbox for singing sesseion with sanly and yeeling. So, I decided to cook fried rice as my breakfst. After I had settled everything and wanted to enjoy my delicious fried rice. I found out that I was trapped in my kitchen with the door locked and windows closed. I was nervous as in yeeling is coming over to fetch me at ten something what if I cant get myself out of there?! I decided to shoud for help to my neighbour. Lucikly my auntie know my daddy's contact number.

Guess what!!

My daddy asked my pulled the window ang the window will unlocked.

I was like WHAT!!Ok! I will just tried after 15 minutes of hardwork finally I save myself out of kitchen and I received yeeling's message after 5 minutes.

We headed for singing session for 3 hours. Kevin came for around one hour plus plus then don't know where he went already. But it was his birthday, so we sang birthday song and he leaved after that.

-----------------------------------------------

21.05.2009

Mum waked me up to fetched my two brothers to school but unfortunate I thought she ter-waked me up. At the end, I slept until 10am only I realised mum still in her room.

The reason she skip work today : She reached home at 8am after came back form Klang!!

I was seriously wanted to scold my two stupid, dumb and idiotic brothers!!!

Dont have the sense of mind!!

Dont know what they used their 1.3 kg of brain for what!!

Damm shitty man!!

Forget about them, we went Subang parade for Mum's Bonia bag.

At the end, we liked the special edition but mum said she wanna consider about first.

Besides that, I bought one leather shoes, one heels, both in white color and lipsbumps & mask!!!

Sometimes, I really feel that I have spent mum's a lot lot of money eventhough she didn't give my pocket money during my life in UNI but she will paid for my flight bill and giant's glosary's bill!!

Have to work hard man!!

p/s: I'm craving for job now...!!! Anyone can help me?!

幻想与现实，你能分辨吗?!

2009-05-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

我这个人很爱幻想，时常幻想我的未来。。。
我有时候我很佩服自己的想象力，如果我身长在演员的世家，我想我会是一位演员或者导演。。

我很喜欢音乐，我不能没有音乐的日子。。
倘若我的家境允许，我很可能可以弹得一手好钢琴，把小提琴的美妙音符传送给每个人。。
还有可能参加交响乐团体，到各地去演出。。。

当这些幻想离我越来越远的时候，我开始了当一位医生的梦想。。
看着披在身上的白袍，走起路来都很显得威风凛凛。。。
白袍底下是一个有血有肉的人，他们不能把自己的情绪表现出来。。。
因为那是医生们都必须拥有的自制力。。。
自制力能力强，判断力就提高。。。

但是，成绩的关系，
让我放弃了从儿时的梦想，
就算我家老妈多么的不愿意，
来一招先斩后奏，
改了科系，从商去了。。。
老妈还和我闹了几天的别扭，
还要劳烦老爸，
风波才平息，
一直到现在，
还有两年的时间让我磨炼，
过后残酷的世界正在迎接我，

有时候，我在想如果我正朝着我其中一个梦想前进，
可能我会问自己，这是我想要的吗?!
演员，歌手，医生与庸人。
我想成为一名庸人。
中庸的人。

好好的念我的书
好好的过我的生活
好好的为生活打拼
好好的为你心爱的人付出

幸福真的是无价.

现在的我，庆幸自己有分析的能力，没有麻木的跟随

将步入21 的我，只想过我要的生活
一杯香浓的咖啡，一个简单的我..!!!

New Part Time JOb.

2009-05-17T21:47:00.002+08:00

Hey, I just got back from my part time job at Carrefour, Klang.
My job is to cut kiwifruit from New Zealand and served it to the customers.
It's actually an easy job for most of the people. Besides cutting all the fruit, I have to sale it to customers to increase kiwifruit sales. My place is at the main entrance of the supermarket so a lot people could see me when they walking in to the hypermarket.
I have my uniform, apron adn cap so I think this is the reason not many people recognise me.
Eventually, I still met some of my father's friends.
One of them has asked me a very weird question:

'Why are you working here? Aren't you suppose at Sabah ,right now?! I dont think your size suitable to become a promoter?!'
I was like so speechless and I just remained silent because I cant argue or 'talk to loud' to customers!!kononnya!!
I was wondering in my mine while I'm cutting my fruit.
Is that any problem I work as a promoter?!I have to earn some money to spend and not always
show your path to your parent and ask for money..!!

Come on, man!!I'm 21 years old this year and I'm matured enought to think!!
I meant in uncle: I'm using my brain to think!! Aren't like your beloved gold son!!Cant even understand human language..!!
When I thought back all his words to me just now, I'm seriuosly confirm and ensure that this man as a father doesnt behave,speak,think like an adult. Perhaps he's only a
SAHH- SATY AT HOME HUSBAND!!!

Ok, back to normal tune.
Overall, I was enjoyed my part time duty for this 2 days.I hope I can get more chance to work to generate more money and kill my time..!!

p/s: shorty soe, if u'r not going to find me, I'm going to leave klang without any message to you..!!!Blek!!!

Home Sweet Home ^.^

2009-05-13T23:30:00.004+08:00

HEy, people!!

I'm back to Klang since last night. I still feel quite ok so far as in I will start working from this saturday and sunday. It's actually a part time job which I got throught online and introduce from a friend. Thanks to ailin!! Appreciate your help!!!

I went out with sanly and yeeling. I woke up at 9.30am as in sanly will fetch me at 10am!!I was rushing to find my bag because I don't know where my mother put my stuff for the last few months. We went back ACS to take our STPM cert but we actually took it already so I will ned to find my cer from my old file in my book rak.

As usual, We chat with Mr. Radha until 12pm because he has a releave class at 12.10pm. We leaved ACS and went to Giant to buy some glosorry to orphange at Taman Gembira.

Before that, we went Hainan Rice for our lunch. The taste okok only la. I felt it's tasty because I'm so hungry since morning.

After we went orphange then went to AEon jusco for J-card sales. My target for today is Padini Jeans which is less 70% and its only 32.70bucks. The original price is 109.90 wei!!O.o!!!

Thn, sanly and yeeling also tried the same design jeans and three of us grab one each!!

After that, we tried lots formal shirt, t-shirt and short pants.

At the end, I bought 3 tops which is only 40 bucks for three and a jeans!!

I like the T-shirt got printed wording

' Single All The Way'

p/s: I got yo go for some sleep already.

I'm going for interview tomorrow!!

Wish me luck , guys!!!

Life after Exam and stayed in Sabah.

2009-05-09T17:30:00.003+08:00

I had finished my exam on last Wednesday where by the paper was quite surprised me because the section B were all pass year question. So, I was still able to write and crpa some idea for that paper. Head for movie + McD after exam at 1Borneo. Then, went back with tiredness.

We have to move out from our current hostel every year so we have to packed all our belongings into the boxes or big big 'china bag'. Is either you put it in the store with thousand thousand of boxes and baggies together. It's quite safe actually but when it comes to redeem your stuff. That's your hard time because you have to find and search for your box out of thousand of boxes. Just imagine that, my friend.

Then the following day I was trapped in the room to pack all my stuff and stuck all the stuff in a big bag so that I don't have to carry so many bag to my uncle's house. So, ended up with 4 big big bag and I have to troubled my uncle to help me collect from me. He even helped me carry my bags from the 4th floor!! Thank you so much , uncle.

I went to kylye's relative house yesterday who worked as a fish retailer. He introduced us to buy froozen fish. I bought a quite expensive fish and it costs me 63 bucks. Actually mum dont want to trouble me as in I have a lot thing to carry back but I'm just tempted to share the fish with my family. So, I just bought only because I dont went back to the place so often.

Then, I spent my day in 1Borneo now after Wesak's Day praying. This's not because of I have a lot of money to spent it's just I need a cool place to online and kill my time.
Hostel is freeking hot either, I just went back for sleep only. Seriously.

I will be celebrating mother;s day with auntie. This's the first year I didnt celebrate with my mother. So sorry, mum but your presents is in my bag now..!!
haha. Dont worry, k?! I will go back with fishsssssssss and your present.

p/s:I hope to get a purple christyle for my 21st birthday. I'm going to buy it if no one want to present it to me..!! BUT BUT BUT, yeesan just told me buy with your own money!! if not it wont works@!!@ so, I'm asking for cash..!! wahaha

p'p's: S3, if you'r reading this. You owe me a pair of shoes..!! and McD!! I dont care. Just want it from you.!!XDXD

Tired

2009-05-02T16:29:00.003+08:00

I was in the library since 10.30am in the morning. I started to do my revision from 12pm. I dont know what's the reason I don't have strength to revise all my notes as in I woke up early even though I slept at 12am but I have had 7 hours of bed times. I couldn't sleep and always awake in the mid night. That's really frustrated me so much. I hope I can get a good bed for tonight as in I have plenty of chapters haven finish reading.

I had some quarrel with my roommates who is from Sarawak. I can't stand with her attitude as in I used to ignored her last time. But I just cant help it for recently, I just show her my face.
For those who are close with me, you will properly know what's my face when I got angry. I wont hide to people that not important for me. I just will showed them : I Bo Song U!!! Better don't come and touch me..!!

I seriously cant wait to go back home.
My homesickness getting serious from time to time.
I really hope tomorrow is my last 2 papers and just get it down in 6 hours!!!
Wait for the time to come is seriously killing me off..!!

update:
I have finish watching a Japanese drama : 交響情人夢
The story is about a teenager wish to become an orchestra conductor since he was a child. He's a pupil of a famous conductors. He find his own way to achive what he actually wished.
I like all the symphony in the drama. All from Beethoven, Mozart and etc.
I wonder if I have any skill in playing any music instruement. I will wish to become like one of them.

p/s: got to go back now. headache again.
damm it.

無助

2009-04-29T13:03:00.002+08:00

今天我必須用華文來細述我現在的心情。
昨晚﹐老媽給我搖了一通電話。
她的語氣真的很累﹐她不放心我胖弟弟的成績。
因為﹐他的月考成績幾乎跌到古底﹐ 欲還手﹐也無力。
我也嘗試用壓力讓他遠離電腦但是老爸說這只會讓他有更大的壓力。
好! 他被搬到老媽的房間睡。
但﹐他還是很晚才從自己的房間回到老媽的房間。
老媽說她自己也不清楚胖子在幹嘛!!

老媽在電話裡抱怨說如果胖子再留級﹐胖子就得去工作了。
我知道她在說氣話﹐她是多麼多麼希望胖子可以和我一樣戴著四方帽﹐
從象牙塔走向康莊大道。
她不希望胖子被我們姐弟兩給比下去。
她不希望我們之間有思想上的差異﹐
她的理想都建築在我們身上﹐
她把希望都放在我們的肩膀上﹐
我們失敗她比任何人都難過﹐
我們成功她比任何人都高興﹐
這都是一位媽馬最基本的要求。

我自問我能走到今天﹐
70%是為了家人﹐
無可否認﹐家人對我很重要﹐
他們是我精神上的支柱﹐
當我要放棄的時候﹐
他們是我所顧慮到的﹐
有時後﹐我是多麼希望握得弟弟和我一樣﹐
為了家人對我們的期望而努力﹐
為了未來而發憤﹐
為了自己﹐
為了﹐........
為了﹐........

我好想回家﹐回到一個我沒有顧慮的地方﹐
因為在家的我﹐可以避免很多不必要的問題﹐
弟弟的問題也不會發生﹐
家裡得以安寧﹐

給媽馬的話:
十指都有長短﹐個個孩子都有所長﹐
只要盡了力﹐也盡了當長輩的責任。
他們的未來﹐讓他們去飛吧。

給胖子的話:
現在的辛苦是未來的享受﹐
現在的叮嚀是無限的保護﹐
一但失去了保護﹐ 我們比須用雙手去解決。
我們一起努力!!

2009-04-26T12:43:00.002+08:00

I have just done my choir theory and practical.
Overall, I was quite satisfied because I expected where is my weakness in theory paper and I dont know how to do in the end.
My practical is singing.I was more nervous than I actually thought but never mind is over already.

3 down another 3 to go.
Titas on tuesday
Another major in the last week.

p/s: my dad called me up last night. He said He will come airport and fetch me no matter how busy he is. So, I can't take bus with all my friends.

Cant wait to go back..!! Countdownting.

A night without sleep.

2009-04-24T04:06:00.002+08:00

I went out for 2 movies which is Snipper and Coming Soon.
The first movie is Snipper. Overall it was quite ok movie as in only the shooting part attracted my attention the rest all is Hong Kong movie typical techniques so nothing special for that.
The next movie was 'coming soon' from Thailand. It's was the scarest movie I had ever watched in my entire whole life. I bet for those who had watched this movie will totally agree with me. I was so frightened with most of the scenes in the movie as in I keep closing my eye from watching it. Besides, I was thinking why the duration of this movie is so long and cant get it finished ealier.
In the end, I felt my heart was exhausted and I felt I'm lack of energy.

The next roung, sushi king. I dont know what's so nice with sushi king's sushi and I just tried it out with all my seniors. The waitress and waiter were so rude as in they thought they are the boss and the can do whatever they want to the customers. Hey chick, we are the customers!!
Dont give that kind of expression if there's so many customers. You should have expected the condition will become like that so just bare or solve the crowd but not showing your bloody chicken face to the customers. It's was so rude, lady.
So, I banded 1Borneo Sushi King forever. In fact, I felt jusco sushi is much more nicer than sushi king!!

Next round, Atmosphere again.
We reached there around 10 minutes after 8pm. The happy hour is going to start at 9pm so we decided to wait until the waitress served us plain water then only we start to order wages but not drinks. We want to have the special price for our drinks so we decided to wait. The condition tonight wasn't good as last thursday because of the music they played tonight dont really suit my taste. Min Yin went back half way because she wasn't feeling well after watching the horror movie and she vomitted twice in the washroom. Francis joined us and he treats us a vain again. He's just so kind to us!!

p/s: I saw someone in 1Borneo as in I'm not expected. I'm not trying to said anything but why cant she just let me know that who she tagged out with?! Isn't that hard to tell a friend with sincere answer?! From now onwards, I'm not going to care whoever is not care for me.

Less Burden, Less Stress, More Concentration, More Successed.

p/p/s: I'm going to work hard for titas and choir paper from tomorrow onwards.
I will need to get some sleep now.

The day after 2 papers..

2009-04-22T14:24:00.002+08:00

I went through Microeconomics on Monday.
The paper is worse than I have thought earlier.
Even though, I have prepared myself on my revision( not 100% well prepared) but I'm still lake of confidence for that paper. Eventually, I almost fall asleep in the exam hall as in the multiple choice is 60 question and I cant really understand and concentrate for my paper. I was struggling myself for that paper and luckily enough my essay part can considered FINE for me.

Yesterday was finance paper.
I should thank you myself for being so hardworking on her tutorial work. I have practice on her last tutorial so almost the same pattern of question came out in yesterday papers but I have dome a lot of silly mistakes and it has comes an enormous consequences. Even though, I had the general picture on most of the question but yet I'm still get wrong for that..!!
I just cant imagine how was my paper going to be as in I know the rest of my friend commentted on that paper is : OKAY!!

I followed my friend to Starbucks and there is the place I wrote my post for today. I have ordered a caramel macchiato as my treat for myself. It cost me 15 bucks and the total spent for today is 2o bucks again. I just comfort myself with the reason of I need to rest for a while.
The best part is my coffee was maked by the coffee master who is a man in black apron. My friend claimed that the coffee that I have ordered too sweet but mine was just nice. I think this is the different between green and black apron coffee man.
So, guys please make sure your coffees or chocolates from Starbucks are make by coffee master which the one in black apron.

In fact, this's the 5th coffee in 2 days and I had 8 hours sleep for Monday and Tuesday.
But I have no regret on my finance paper as in I really tried hard for that. I hope God will bless my finance and microeconomics paper.

I have to attend choir theory class and vocal exam later, 6 pm.
I felt so sleepy now until dont feel like going anywhere but sleep.

p/s: I'm going out again tomorrow. Another spending day for me.
p/p/s: I'm watching japanese drama which I dont know what is the title but the content is nice and for those who like classical music. You should watch this 交响情人梦.

Arigato.
Zane.

@tmosphere

2009-04-17T12:54:00.005+08:00

I planned the timeteble below before I leaved the library at 6pm.

6.30pm : reached hostel + nap
7.30pm : wake up + bath + dinner
8.30pm : continue study

But my plan changed after I received chew hong's call. She said she is not going to cook so we go 1 Borneo to have our dinner. She claimed that we are going back after dinner then I just followed them because at that time I know my brain can function well due to the finance formulassssssssssss.
In the conversation, I told hong said I'm stress and feel like so emo at the moment. But she confortted me with nice food in 1Borneo.

I catch up with them at 7.30pm and had a ginger chicken rice + susu leong fan ( cin cao add milk). We headed to giant to grab some food so that we can just eat when we feel hungry in the room especially midnight.

9.15pm, MIn yin called me and asked when I'm going to take the money from her, so I came out from the car first while Kylye still searching for parking. She saw my face and asked my problem and I told her. She asked am I going to study at night. I replied : NOPE. As in my brain was stucked and I will watch movie in my room.

She just grab my neck with her hand to restaurant atmosphere.
What is special with this restaurant?!
This restaurant just same like the one in KLCC. You can see the view as in ur seat is moving slowly. The place is aeriously awesome.
My boss, Francis ordered MERLOT for our vain and Min Yin said she want to treat me a LONG ISLAND..!!
OMG!! Just imagine that man.. That's was what I carving for and I did posted in msn message. It was so touched as in actually got people do care what you said in msn message.

I have 2 cups of vain + LONG ISLAND + VODKA + orange cocktail
The best part is special discount for all the cocktails and selected vain after 9pm until 12am. ISn't it sounds nice?!

Actually I felt guilty at first because I'm spending my time on some unproductive activities. But at that time, I just want myself to be out of this world and I want to forget everything in my mind especially all the fianance formulas..!!
The worst part is I told my mum I have study group but end up with drinks.

I'M DRUNK LAST NIGHT..!!

I cant even walked properly as in hui jing have to accompany me back to my room. Feel so guilty actually and I slept straight away after I changed my clothes.
Just imagine I cant even go toilet and wash my face before I slept. Imagined how drunk I'm..!!
Anyway, thanks to Francis, Hui Jing and Min Yin.

They make me realise true friends are the one who stand beside you when you are n trouble.

I felt myself so fresh in this morning and I woke up at 5 am. I had not had so nice sleep whenever I started my revision.
I will start a brand new day from now..!!

..photos session..

My boss, Francis Voon

My close senior, Min yin

All of us, the gay in purple is Tiang

Hui jing and ME..
yeanyeon: hui jing, thanks for taking care of me..!!

Francis Voon was super good mood tonight.
I just wonder why..!!

Cheers..!!

long island..=)
Merlot -=) - vain-

my study week

2009-04-16T17:49:00.003+08:00

It has come to my study week for my second semester final examination.
My daily timetable:

7am : wake up + eat breakfast
8am : start study
12pm : lunch + go ibrary ( the weather damm hot, library got air-cond)
1pm: study
6pm: go back hostel + take a nap + dinner
8pm: study
11pm : sleep

I have to carry on my life with this activities until 6 may 2009.
I'm regretted than I didn't prepard myself earlier.
I'm run out of time right now.

p/s: unfortunately, I have gain some weight again as in i eat and study, eat and study since last week. It's like so routine.I hope my parents wouldn't nag on me again.

If I'm still blogging in the coming weeks, I will properly talk bout my exam.
Can't wait for the next tuesday to come so I can release some stress.

I wanna have long island at atmosphere before I go back for holiday.

Updates.^^

2009-04-15T17:09:00.003+08:00

Somebody had complained in my chat box said I have not been updating my blog since last 2 weeks!!So, I'm here to show up and said hello to all my friends.
I'm still ALIVE!!
I'm currently busy with revision as in my final examination for two major subjects
Monday : Microeconomics ( I did just read through 2 chapters out of 8 chapters 3 weeks ago...
Tuesday : Finance ( I'm currently struggling with finance, tonnes of formula need to understand in order to apply for the solutions)

After theat will take a break for 1 week then is TITAS.

I received my daddy's call last night,
He asked me do not study until late night and must take care of myself.
Smart people is all surrounding me and they are unfindable and unpredictable.
As long as you try hard, is more than enough already.

I felt so touch in a sudden and I emo the whole night.
Anyway, I'm not able to blog so frequently in the coming 1 week to concentrate on my studies ( kononnya)..!!

Sometimes is better to be alone..

2009-04-04T15:31:00.002+08:00

It has comes to the second last week before my final examination..
Believe me,
I'm not ready in anything,
perhaps I'm still busy with my activities,
I have one more week for my pasar malam event,
Next Friday is the last day of all.
10 days, 5 weeks, every Wednesday and Friday,
I will definitely at there,
It has become one part of my routine work,
but, I enjoyed.
seriously enjoyed.

I had a dream last night,
I dreamed his has put his usual coat on me,
I was sleeping on a long sofa.
I could feel his eyesight is on my face.
I wished all this could become true but It's wouldn't happened on me.

I had took part in the treasure hunt on yesterday,
I was running up and down in the whole school,
But I didn't get the first price as in Hotel Management group headed to the pit stop before us.

I have encountered in another problem again,
My Microecononic's lecturer, Ms Beatrice Lim suspected we copy other people's answer for our assignment,
Our grade has been dropped from A- to B+.
The person who incharge for the particular question said she has lost her pen drive before handed in her answer to the leader and her pen drive was found after someone return back to her.The person who copied our answer said our group member gave the answer.
WHO SHOULD I TRUST TO??!!
I'm seriously in the bad mood for the whole day.
But something has cheered me up at pasar malam.
Thanks guy!!

I just felt my life in this coming 2 weeks could be very miserable,
I can feel that business students are hazard,
They fight for themselves without treating you as friend,
They can betrayed you just for anything.

I'm going out with my roommates tomorrow cause they are bringing me go out to Sabah's place.
Another spending day for me.
I have spent nearly 700 bucks on last week.
For my dinner and everything I think is necessary.
I have to save money for this month cause is study and exam time ba.
Shouldn't go out already.

I need to save budget for my another's friend birthday which is on 14 April.
haiz.
life is so difficult.

I asked God, 'How do I get best out of life?'
God said, '
Face your past without regret.

Handle you present with confidence.

And prepare your future without fear'.

Sudden Emo

2009-04-02T17:04:00.002+08:00

I just finished chatted with my uncle.
He commented on my result on last semester and he claimed that he was a first class holder during his first semester.
I told him the system is different. If i can get first class then I must be blessed by god.
I did complain to him how was our family especially those grand-grand ppl comment on me.
They thought I could compete with their beloved daughters and sons for being so excell in studies during thier uni life.
I just to let my uncle know..
Comparison makes me tired..
From primary, secondary, tertiary, uni..............
I want to stop it right now...
I want to stop the trend...
I want to prove to them first class is not everything..
It can guarantee ur job in future..
The key is self confidence and communication skills is the essential characteristic to success.

=.=

2009-04-01T13:05:00.000+08:00

I'm currently free from my club activity.
But I have get myself involved in the activity which will held next semester.
I know I'm suppose to study for my final right now.
But I just cant find an appropriate timing.
It's so dependent on my mood.

Actually, I wonder what is LOVE about?!
Is that the feeling we have towards each other then consider as LOVE.
For me, I will LOVE HIM when I NEED HIM.
People might think that I'm a selfish girl but I don't agree with that.
Sometimes, I really hope Someone can care of me just like someone did to me right now.
I know this person is not belongs to me.
I don't even have the confident to ask him stay beside me.
I'm getting confused.
I really get to save myself from this box.

I really hope to go back home.
I really miss all my family.

p/S: Last night was my final class for my Oral Communication which means I will not meeting that old man tutor maybe for the rest of my life. My performance for last night was quite bad because it wasn't that fluence that I had expected from the beginning. I was the first person who took the exam. My group members and me went back hostel at 8pm and I messaged my tutor we are not going to wait for him to finish his class. I have to mention here is he's really a kind old man or grandpa. He refused to tell me my result after I had text him but is doesn't matter because I'm still confident with myself.
By the way, thanks for him treating me like his daughter for the whole sem. I really appreciated it.

p/p/s: My final is on 21 April until 6 May.
I will go back on 12 May. But I need to rush for documentation for my activity. Sighs!!

To all My Frens...

2009-03-29T02:06:00.004+08:00

Hi ALL ,

To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE 給我單身朋友們Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But
愛就像一隻蝴蝶。越要追牠，卻越要逃避。
if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can
如果就隨牠自由的飛，牠會在你最不注意時飛向你。
make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it
愛使人快樂，卻常傷害人。但只有在你把愛給了一個真正值得付出的人時，是最珍貴的。
to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best. 所以，花點時間去選擇最好的他/她吧

To My Friends Who Are......

NOT SO SINGLE 給我那不是單身的朋友們Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about
愛不能使他/她成為一個'完美的人'
finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.
它卻可以使你找到一個幫你成長的他/她
To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
給我玩世不恭的朋友們Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they
如果你不在乎，不要說'我愛你'。如果他們不在時，不要討論自已的感受
aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look
不要涉足會使他人心碎的生活。
in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is
說謊時，不要看著眼睛。
to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works
最殘忍的事莫過於男人讓女人愛他，卻是逢場作戲。反之亦然…
both ways...

To My Friends Who Are............

MARRIED
給我已婚的朋友們Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you',
不要老是說'這是你的錯'，何不說說'對不起'。
but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I
不要老是問'你去哪裡了'，何不說說'我就在這兒等著你'。
不要老是問'你怎麼會這麼作？'，何不說說'我了解你'。
wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.'
不要老是說'我希望你這麼做'，何不說說'我感謝你的一切'。
To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED 給我那已訂婚的朋友們The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how
要真正衡量包容心，不是看在一起幾年了，而是要看彼此的敬愛
good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are............

HEARTBROKEN 給我心碎的朋友們Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to
心碎的時間和傷害的深度，完全取決於你自已。
go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.
難的是，如何從中學習，而不是從傷痛中爬起。
To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE
給我所有天真的朋友們How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too
要如何戀愛？--就愛吧。不要欲言又止；要互相協調，不要太固執；
persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand,
要分享，且千萬不要有不公平；要了解，別命令；
and get hurt but never keep the pain. 受傷後不要再記恨。
To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE 給我積極的朋友們It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but
看到你所愛的他/她和其他人很快樂使你心碎
it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.
但知道你所愛的他/她是和你在一起不快樂，令人更加的傷心。

To My Friends Who Are............

AFRAID TO CONFESS 給我害怕去承認的朋友們Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when
當你和他/她分手時，愛受到傷害
someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you
當他/她和你分手時，更是傷痛
love has no idea how you feel.
但傷害最深的是你所愛的他/她完全無法了解你的感受

To My Friends Who Are............

STILL HOLDING ON 給我那還在等待的朋友們A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to
人生最傷心的事，是你和他/她愛情長跑了多年，最後的結局卻不如所望。
find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not
'如果他/她現在讓你覺得不值得付出，那麼一年，甚至十年後，都不會值得付出的。
going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....
讓他/她走吧

TO ALL MY FRIENDS.......

給我所有的朋友們My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature,
我竭誠祝福你們愛著一個誠實、強壯、成熟、衷心、有衝勁、保護你、積極、值得付出和無私的他/她。
never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

Wanna have a date with you..

2009-03-27T09:50:00.003+08:00

-Let's swichted off the lights for 1 hour to save our world-

Date : 28.03.2009

Time : 8.30pm - 9.30pm

- Join the event together with everyone in the world-

-It's the time for us to do something for our beloved earth-

- To repay what she has sacrified for us-

各位地球人，讓我們一起響應，

積極向朋友宣傳，這個星期六晚上八點半，

一起關燈一個小時，我約定你了。

Dinner @ E + IB Nite 09- continue

2009-03-26T11:44:00.003+08:00

Self shock Snape in the washroom.

Darren + Me

My roommate, Aque. She was the formal MC for dinner @ E

Fong Mein ( my partner in Publicity) + Min Yin

The Prom King - Xiao Yang

Min Yin + Hui Jing claims tat this s the best photo ever

My Pasar Malam UMS boss, Francis Voon.

International Business Musically Enchanting Night 2009

2009-03-24T10:48:00.007+08:00

Jo Ann with her cheo red dress + Doreamon + IB Nite president ( cynthia)

Jo + Me + Hilda

Jo + Frankie

I love this booklet so much!!!!!

The deco of my dinner night!!!!
__________________________________________________________________________

JAgung bakar frm KUDAT!!!!!!

The original Loooooooooooooooooooooooong House!!!!!

Is so beautiful, isn't it?!

2009-03-23T16:46:00.007+08:00

Klang Gem of Life - Completed

My dress >.

Klang's Gem of Life

I have attended 2 dinners on last week.
The pictures I will post up later is my hostel dinner in Sutera Habour Hotel.
My course dinner's photo will post in the coming post.

DONT ASK ME WHY WE DRESSED IN BLACK!!
the theme is Black and Pink!!!!

p/s: you may comment on my dress!!

Give up

2009-03-14T17:01:00.002+08:00

This's another hectic week for me...
I was fine for the last week..
but..
I feel like giving up everything in this week...
I dont know the reason...
I also dont plan to figure the reason...

In this week...
I had saw some incident happenned which I'm not expected it to be...
I saw the fakeness in some people...
I saw they trying to be very good with you...
but...
revenge behind you...
they dont blame in fornt of you..
but at the back..
they make my life even crowded than last time...
they want everything decided by themselves..
then what's the purpose we have our own idea,right??!!

My mood even gone down to the deep sea...
as in my midterm's result will be announce accordingly...
Something stupid came into my mind...
after I had saw my midterm's result...
I wonder if I got an A but I'm the one who copying people's answers...
Will I be proud of myself...
Mabe I will...
because people just cares what it's fact...
they dont even bordered how you going to work hard for it...
or another word..
they dont even give a DAMM on your stupid result...

I try to comfort myself...
will do better next time...
I try to convince myself midterm's nothing...
but I know I have lost...
I have lost the chance to strick my result...
I have lose the chance to get A in my final...

Maybe people will feel silly and tell me...
dont woory about something in the future...
do worried about present...
maybe my friend was right...

If I'm given super power...
I will make all the people in the world...
live without any prejudice...
love each other...
there's no politics in the world...
there's no enemy in the world...
no people have to wear mask to live their life...

But I know I cant do that because this is the nature...
the cyclism of life...
When do I have to take off the mask on my face...
I'm tired of wearing that...
I'm seriously tired...
maybe I shouldn't have make such a decision before this...

But I have to carry own because thi's my choice and destiny.

Can I cry just to minimize my burden??!!

Is that all I want?!

2009-03-11T13:36:00.002+08:00

I have been carry on a crazy life since last week. Slept at 1am and woke up at 7am. I kow the sleeping period might be sufficient to other people but seriously that's not going to apply to me though. All the efforts that I have put onn, it comes back with some rewenue as in not a material rewards but mentally rewards. At least someone know that I'm working hard to complate all the task that given from my boss. I really feel that all the efforts that I have put in s worth.

I'm figuring something in my mind now from time to time.
Am I going to continue my life like this for the next sem?!
Carrying myself with plenty of activities and assginmetns until I have neglected my studies.
It's just like my midterm for this time, I dare to bet, the result is going to give an impact to me.
TIME MANAGEMENT. I have emphasize it form time to time to myself.
I even try to repeat in my mind when I was caught in a very crowded situation which a lot work I have to settle in a short time.

TIME MANAGEMENT.
yeanyeon, Can you do that?!

Refresh from Prosperous

2009-03-02T11:50:00.003+08:00

As I did mention in the previous post, I have tonnes of assignments and activities waiting for me. At last, it has came to the final. The submission day is today. That's mean, I will free from assignments for 3 days. I just checked out my financial management's lectuer message, another assignment to hand up at the end of this month. In conclusion,

-3 assignments will be in this month.( TITAS, Acc group, Finance Management).
-2 dinners night in this month ( IB dinner night and Hostel dinner night)
-2 preparation for activities in this month.
- 4 midterms in this week.

I just cant imagine my timetable will beome as packed as these. Eventually, I ahve no time to study for my midterm. I only can hope for my final. Sometimes, the feelin of remorse is really killing me. It has distracted me from moving forward but I cant owerwhelmed with the stress around me. I keep reminding myself as long as you crossed over this stumble, you are one step nearer to become a person that being prestigious from the outsiders.

Last times, I'm not a optimistic person but now I realised the importance of being a opitimistic person and positives thinking is an essential for a person who want to achieve victory in their life.
Successfull man doesn't have much time to border for other people businesses because they have others important business to carry on.

"Talk less, Do more" can be implemented in these situation.

_______________________________________________________________
My good friend, Sanly has aske me a question in her blog in her previous post. She has answered the question correctly. At the meanwhile, I'm still cant accept a man who is younger than me to become my partner.
The statement below is for her and for those who concern on my relationship's life from peninsula:
I have no target in the university right now and I guess I wouldn't have a partner at here. It's not that the people here doesn't suitable for me. It's just a part of my psikology, my heart told me I'm not ready for any relationship right now. In fact, I'm not ready to take the risk and responsible in a relationship.If there is a man who approached me, I will consider him and understand him in the future. If the progress and feeling is positive, I will announced him as my partner. There's nothing to hide from nor even my parents. I think they will understand why I have make such a decision.In this case, I just dont want to have a partner just because of I'm afraid of lonely in this beautiful place and I'm waiting for god's plan to let me encounter my spouse in my life.
___________________________________________________________________

In fact, I'm living in a tight schedule life right now but I do enjoy it very much. As long as, I dont take it as obstruction in ly life, it wonuldn't become a burden for me.

p/s: I have midterm at 7pm later and account midterm at tomorrow.I haven got started in any revision yet.Sometimes, I just dont know what am I learning through the past 2 months.
Anyway, It's an adaptation period for me right now. I will do it fine

___________________________________________________________________
p/s: I'm currently in love with Yida's old song : The gal has told me....(那女孩對我說。。。)

I like the most is:
片體臨傷的我。。。
That's was my condition last week.

I'm half dead

2009-03-01T01:54:00.002+08:00

I have to admit that I'm not a last minutes person (sometimes, I do.Human being ma,normal la)
I need to complete my finance by tomorrow 9.30am ad I dont even print anything yet.
5 assignments to be handed up in Monday.
That's the main reason why I'm blogging right now.
Life seems like have a little bit extra delight. I have start a new chapter in my life.
Besides being a university student, I'm learning to become a social person among my unimate.
I know my life would be start to become busy but I tried my best to solveit.
I dont want to simply said I'm busy because a lot of people are busier than me and they have no complaints on it. This is what I recognised as responsibility. Responsibility that I choose to take, I must ready for that included stress and run out of time in studies.
I will try my very best to balance my academic and activities.
No pain = No Gain
No ( pain = gain)
=> pain = gain

Nothing in this world comes free of charge.Before you can occupied it, you must learned the process and make sure you got the thing with your own effort.

p/s : is time for me to have short sleep.
will continue at 6am with all my assignments.

take care.

A Msg Frm A Good Fren

2009-02-23T17:15:00.001+08:00

Life Is Too Short,
Break The Rules, Forgive Quickly,
Kiss Slowly, Love Truly,
Laugh Uncontrollably,
And Never Regret Anything
That Made You Smile.
Life May Not Be The Party
We Hoped For,
But While We're Here, We Should Dance...

2009-02-14T12:51:00.004+08:00

21 岁的情人节

情人节都是很多女生最梦寐以求的日子，
她们都希望可以和自己喜欢的男人在一起，

手挽着爱人的手，
十指交加，
看着满天的星斗，
烟花璀璨，
双方都会想和对方许下一辈子的诺言。

眼中的甜蜜，
双手被对方的暖气呵护着，
所传达的爱意，
真的希望大家的未来都会有对方的存在，
一起捏造大家的将来

用力的拥抱，
深怕自己会离对方而去，
在这天，拥抱的时间会觉得很长久，
对方都希望就此一辈子。

以上都是普通女生最简单的要求，
可能男人都认为女人爱幻想，
都是不确实际的想法，
但是，
纵然一位女人的事业如日冲天，
总就离不开拥有幻想的权力，
只是的看看女人会不会掩饰自己的想法。

今年会度过我人生中第21个情人节，
我没尝试过在当天和自己的伴侣过节的感觉，
可能我还没有资格或
还没有权力去享受当天的气氛，
我相信那一天会来临但
不知何时。

‘ 有梦最美，希望相随’
都是我一直秉持的理念。
人的生活已经很忙很累了，
拥有一点幻想的权力，
决对比胡思乱想来的更健康。
但并不代表可以任由幻想操控自己的情绪。

“人与人之间能够风平浪静，
而建立一段关系是一种福气，
但同样，就算是波折重重，
也是一种恩赐，
因为只有这样，
你就会更加学会懂得去珍惜。”

我有一位朋友告诉我
"我的世界是粉红色的"

我才知道他有喜欢的对象。
原来有了生活中的伴侣，

生活里的色彩是如此的迷人。

在这里祝大家
‘ 情人节到了，祝有情人终成眷属。

Frustrated and Worried

2009-02-11T10:39:00.002+08:00

I am so frustrated and worry during the since last week.I' worrt of my laptop been infected by virus.The antivirus I'm using now is AVG 8.0 bt most of my UNImate said Avg is the most lousiest antivirus if compare with KASPERSKY AND AVIRA.I wanted to change the my antivirus to KASPERSKY last sem but my uncle said AVG 8.0 is good also.I have no choice but listen to him because I dont know anything about software.In conclusion , I'm a COMPUTER IDIOT!!(can you understand)!!

I'm so worry my laptop will shut down suddenly then I think there will the end of my day already.In fact, I cant live without my laptop.
I need it to do my assignment.
I need it for my research
The most IMPORTANT task is,
IT's my entertainment tool besides my MP3 and mobile phone.
I cant live without a laptop in one day.

I have thought of reformat my laptop but I cant because I dont have the software disc with me.
So, I cant reformat.
I have thought of purchase Original KASPESKY but is kindna expensive.
I cant reformat so the only thing I can do is install new antivirus.
I hates the library wireless.It's the main reason why I got virus.

Why there is viruses in the world.
'They' should be killed.
'They should be destroyed.
Perhaps 'they' shouldnt exist in the world.
'They' are not belong to the IT world.

I really need suggestion right now.I dont want my laptop to condamm when its at the climax period in my 2nd sem.
Gosh!!
HELP me!!
Please.
Thanks.
Hope I can settle it soon.

I

赤壁 2

2009-02-06T11:33:00.008+08:00

昨天﹐我獨自一個人觀看賀歲片‘赤壁2 決戰天下’。感覺還不錯的。可能大家都認為一個人看電影很無聊﹐其實感覺真的很好。相信我吧!!
我本身沒看過<三國演義>﹐所以對於真正的歷史不是很了解。我的朋友都說歷史都被改寫了。看來我得讀一讀真正的<三國演義>。
戲里的場面很壯觀但是有一點太垮張了。每個人的照形都不錯但是我不是很喜歡周瑜﹐周都督的照形。他看起來很老不夠英雄架子。
從<赤壁 1 > 開始就覺得孔明﹐諸葛亮太帥了。我想他是從古至今最帥的諸葛亮。

諸葛亮的海報。諸葛亮未免太帥了吧

曹操在《赤壁》唱的《短歌行》：

對酒當歌，人生幾何？
譬如朝露，去日苦多。
慨當以慷，憂思難忘。
何以解憂？唯有杜康。
青青子衿，悠悠我心。
但為君故，沈吟至今。
呦呦鹿鳴，食野之萍。
我有嘉賓，鼓瑟吹笙。
明明如月，何時可掇？
憂從中來，不可斷絕。
越陌度阡，枉用相存。
契闊談讌，心念舊恩。
月明星稀，烏鵲南飛，
繞樹三匝，何枝可依？
山不厭高，海不厭深。周公吐哺，天下歸心。

《赤壁》的主題曲：《心戰》

翻天覆地攜手浪逐浪
千杯不醉只醉月光
會心一笑不必講
對看一切都雪亮
赤手空拳心機裏攻防
鐵臂銅墻也敢碰撞
今生不枉這一躺
烈火燒出鳳凰
把淚風幹這一仗心的戰場
贏得漂亮一起上
輸也坦蕩誰怕夜長
狂嘯當歌相知最難忘
滾滾長江滾燙依舊在胸膛
狂嘯當歌何妨驚濤裂岸不枉
脫口成句意短情且長
千杯不醉只醉月光
會心一笑不必講
對看一切都雪亮
赤手空拳心機裏攻防
鐵臂銅墻也敢碰撞
今生不枉這一躺
烈火燒出鳳凰
心裏交戰這一仗心的戰場
一場之戰一起上
痛快一場誰怕夜長
狂嘯當歌相知最難忘
滾滾長江滾燙依舊在胸膛
狂嘯當歌何妨驚濤裂岸不枉
這一刻在何方這一杯我先幹
為你受過傷是我的勛章
多少的悲歡都盡付笑談
今夜這月光先喝光

其實﹐這部電影得一看﹐主題曲也很好聽。

Late Updates II

2009-02-03T11:24:00.012+08:00

This is the watch My dad bought for me!!battery free because its run by kinetic force!!

The Mercedes In Front Of my Hotel.

Night view from my room.

The view from my hotel.SIAM CITY HOTEL

The sky when I was on my way to Hatyai.

My leng cai cousin bro!!

The only 3 grand daughter out of 15 grandchildren!!

This's the second day I'm in Sabah after Chinese New year.I felt the CNY doesnt mean a lot to me. This's properly because of I dont visit my relative's house but went Hatyai.Most of my friends knew that I went Hatyai every year.Some even dont comprehend why I need to go to the same place every year.In fact, Hatyai has become my second home for CNY.Actually, I dont know how to answer my friends.But I felt I'm kindna boring with this Hatyai already so I told my mother better dont come Hatyai next year and stayed at home to celebrate CNY 2010.Mum did agree with that and we will be doing stemboat!!yeay!!

I was busy searching a dinner wear for my IB night which will held at 14 mac 2009.there's a lot choice for but the skirt dont suit me because of my size.I cant wear it.I was quite mad with that and I started to understand why women likes to diet.I think that's the main reason.I was quite mad with myself because my mum was very tired with me.She needs to go around the shop in Hatyai to search for the dinner wear.At the end I found one dinner wear in the last night in HAtyai which locatedin the outlet at LEE GARDEN HOTEL.It cost my mum 900bath ~ rm950.The shop cant sign card and only cash business.My mum pulled out all her cash and paid.She leaved 40 bath ~ rm 3.50 for herself.I was kindna sad with that and I'm kindna guilty because I dont really pay attention in my study after the new sem has started.Even though I dont really want to buy it but mum said just buy because is very hard to find my size.In the other hand just incase if I realy cant find another better one.

We reached home at 10pm after dinner.I was kindna tired and feel like going to sick again.I woke up the next morning and saw my mum was ready herself to go for work.She said just go a while then come back because if Monday started is not really good for her and she asked when my frens are coming over to our house.If they came late then we go AEON usco and try to look for your dinner wear.I said I'm not sure.At the end, my frens came over at 12pm and went back at 6pm!

We went AEON jusco at 8pm.At last, we found another skirt that suit for me and fitted my size.The only problem is I dont want to spend so much of money already and the dinner wear cost me rm129.oo.I was thinking another 100 bucks my mum spend on me.She has been very busy with my own stuff.At the end, I bought the skirt and I was thinking is the time to get another skirt already and I can wear it next time if there's any grand dinner in my family!!XDXD.

Everytime i went back I felt I'm the only one who spending so much of money and yet dont really pay anything back to my parents.Sometimes, I hates mysef being SO WEAK!!

Again!! WEAK!

All I can do right now is make sure my thing goes smoothly because I cant afford to lost any subject in this sem.I need to maintain my pointer in this Sem!!

KEEP HOLDING ON!!When I Think of my loved one in peninsula!!