力不從心

老弟去了雲頂﹐留下我一個孤零零地守在店里。
回家的路上﹐全巴生交通大癱瘓。
老爸在車上說﹐近年來都受盡了老媽的壞脾氣﹔反之﹐ 老媽又向我大吐苦水﹐
讓我的心情漣漣起漪﹐
淚水還會不聽使喚的留下來﹐
哭﹐不能解決問題﹐
但我能做什麼?!
兩老的互不相讓﹔兩小又惹多生事﹐
每天的吵架問題都是一樣的﹐
難道你們不悶嗎?
嘴裡說很累但是還是不停的找話題來吵﹐
還是你們想有一天其中一人遠離你們才會閉上你們的嘴啊?!
如果真的能成全你們﹐我甘願為那片魚肉﹐任你為所欲為﹐
每一天我盼的是家里人高高興興的﹐
光這一點﹐我看還真的要了他們的命。
老爸說等我學成歸來﹐就是他讓他的生命永生的時候﹐
倘若這成了事實﹐這家也會散了﹐
老媽終日苦面向對﹐
一位有病的人還有多少日子﹐10年對他來說簡直就是恩賜了﹐
過去的讓它過去﹐如果你認為他的現在的一切都是報應﹐
難道他不會後悔嗎?!為什麼還要在每一次都斗嘴都為了老問題﹐
要是覺得負擔重了﹐節儉啦。。
老爸還沒有患病的時候﹐他應該都沒有不允許你不開冷氣吧?!
每個星期就那麼一天啊。。。
我時常都在想﹐如果有那麼的一天﹐
有人賞識我願意以高價的薪水但必須遠離家裡﹐
我會欣然的接受。。。
如果你們想更早當寡婦或則孤哀兒的話﹐
我真的無話可說﹐
現在我每一年的生日願望﹐新年願望都是希望可憐我﹐
讓我家的兩老和和氣氣﹐
讓他們有這個福氣看到我們三個成家立業。。。
老天爺﹐我的心聲﹐
您可否聽見了?!


遠在西方的外公外婆﹐可不可以救救你孫女啊??
她快倒下了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
每晚的眼淚都伴著她入眠。。。。。。。。

1- 2009/2010

Result for 3rd semester released last night.
The result I have got is expected.
It's in my expectation for this semester. No harm.
I know it's has come t0 the time I need to work hard for the coming semesters.

结婚是幸福的

两个人可以在一起共结连里是百年修来的缘分，
看着别人幸福的结婚照，
百般滋味用上心头，
此情此景，
每人献上最美好的祝福，
但愿他俩执子之手，与子皆老。

未来的数十年才是真正的开始...........

21 young adult behavior

I remembered I posted this question in my facebook : What shd a 21 young adult behave??
This question came into my mind after I read : My dear Andrea.
A boy turninh to 21st years old soon but he was far away separated from his mother and his mother decided to understand a first 21 years old friend in her life where he's trying to know his mother from the beginning.

Sometimes, I wonder why most of the Asian parents cant communicate with their children. Their words are more in ordering than advise or encourage.
When I flashed beck my life in the past 20 years. I'm so glas I was staying with my grandparents since my kindergarden until the day she passed away. Her leaved had caused a big change in my life. I have to move back to my own house which I'm not familiar with. I had to leave a house where I stayed for 12 years which fulled with my memory and move in MY House.

My parents had never experience babyseat a baby from age 0 until 12 years old because fatty bro and me were take care of my grandmother. When the time we move back to own house, my fatty bro already went into primary school so they missed the developing stage of two children then they faced super duper lot porblem in educating my youngest brother. He's the most headache person in out family even my father also cant control him at this age. He's only 12 this year. You can just imagine how 'good' his behavior is. PArents don't understand they keep using the same method in educationg the three childred which were borned in different stage of environment. Lately 80's, early 90's and lately 90's.

Three children with different background ( especially technology environment), develope in different background. The latest a child was born the more complicated a child minded is. Sometimes, I was wondering what food they ate when they were in growth age?! Why are they so different from us?! This question I wished a professionist could help me up.

Being a parents we must learn as well. We learn to educate our child, educate them based on the environment. As I always said : Only environment can make a man change , a man cant change the environment'.

The situation in my family, I don't know how to help because I'm not being a parents yet.
As a sister for him , I'm already complete as a role model.
As a daughter in a family, I already try my best to make my parents proud of me.

I hope as a wife n a mother in the future, I will try my best do not let this situation happen again in my life because I don't want my life being repeated again.

Late Updates : 11th Malaysia Chinese Bookfair + Current condition

I have been abandoned my blog for quite long period already. Even I came back from Sabah for my 3rd semester holiday I also didn't update my blog because : LAZY!!

Let by gone be by gone, I went for the 11th Malaysia Chinese Bookfair at The mines for the 1st time. This is the first time I went to THE MINES. O.o''' I know some of you all might said: Wah!! U very outdate le. But too bad I have everything so perfect in Klang area so I don't need to travel that far for shopping~~.

Currently enjoying reading my book.named : My dear Andrew.
This book has been published for few years back. I still remeber I read the synopsis in Chinese newspaper but due to the reason of lack of $$ so I didn't purchase this book. I'm so lucklt to find this book in the bookfair with 20% discount. For me is 100% free because It paids by my MUM!!
wee~~~ The most important thing is it's the last one on the table. So, I consider myself very luckly.

I will updates again after I finished reading this book.
I'm inlove with Andrew right now.

Out of difficulties, miracle happens.

The weather at Kota Kinabalu were very bad since last week. Big hot sun in the morning but rain after 4pm. That's the reason I wake up early every to wash my belongings except my blanklet because I know I will be freezing at night without it.

Another 2 days, I shall step on Klang's road again. I counted this is my 7th times I went back from Sabah. I was so excited last time but I got not much different right now. Something caught my mind properly is my activity next year.

Some people might think that as long as I try my best to make the event as good as possible, no one will blame me!!

But the more responsibility on my shoulder, the more achievement I wish to achieve it.
Out of difficulties, miracle happens.

Sharing Post with Everyone..~~~

转帖~~父母永远只有一个~

媳婦說: 煮淡一點妳就嫌沒有味，現在煮鹹一點妳卻說咽不下， 妳究竟想怎麼樣 ？」母親一見兒子回來，二話不說便把飯菜往咀裡送。 她怒瞪他一眼。 他試了一口，馬上吐出來， 兒子說：「 我不是說過了嗎，媽有病不能吃太鹹！」 「 那好！媽是你的，以後由你來煮！」媳婦怒氣沖沖地回房。 兒子無奈地輕嘆一聲，然後對母親說：「媽，別吃了，我去煮個麵給妳。」

「仔， 你是不是有話想跟媽說，是就說好了，別憋在心裡！ 「媽，公司下個月升我職，我會很忙， 至於老婆，她說很想出來工作，所以....」母親馬上意識到兒子的意思： 「 仔，不要送媽去老人院。」 聲音似乎在哀求。 兒子沉默片刻，他是在尋找更好的理由。「 媽，其實老人院並沒有甚麼不好，妳知道老婆一但工作，一定沒有時間好好服侍妳。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顧，不是比在家裡好得多嗎？」 「可是，阿財叔他..... 」

洗了澡，草草吃了一碗速食麵，兒子便到書房去。 他茫然地佇立於窗前，有些猶豫不決。 母親年輕便守寡，含辛茹苦將他撫養成人，供他出國讀書。但她從不用年輕時的犧牲當作要脅他孝順的籌碼， 反而是妻子以婚姻要脅他！真的要讓母親住老人院嗎？ 仔問自己，他有些不忍。「可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，難道是你媽嗎？」 阿財叔的兒子總是這樣提醒他 「 你媽都這麼老了，好命的話可以活多幾年， 為何不趁這幾年好好孝順她呢？ 樹欲靜而風不息，子欲養而親不在啊！」 親戚總是這樣勸他。 兒子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的會改變初衷。

夕晚，太陽收斂起灼熱的金光，躲在山後憩息。一間建在郊外山崗的一座貴 族老人院。 是的，錢用得越多，兒子才心安理得。 當兒子領著母親步入大廳時， 嶄新的電視機，42 吋的螢幕正播放著一部喜劇， 但觀眾一點笑聲也沒有。幾個衣著一樣，髮型一樣的老嫗歪歪斜斜地坐在梳化上神情呆滯而有一個老人在自言自語， 有個正緩緩彎下腰，想去撿掉在地上的一塊餅乾吃。 兒子知道母親喜歡光亮, 所以為她選了一間陽光充足的房間。 從窗口望出去，樹蔭下，一片芳草如茵。 幾名護士推著坐在輪椅的老者在夕陽下散步， 四周悄然寂靜得令人心酸。 縱是夕陽無限好，畢竟已到了黃昏，他心中低低嘆息。

「媽，我........我要走了！」 母親只能點頭。 他走時，母親頻頻揮手， 她張著沒有牙的嘴， 蒼白乾燥的咀唇在囁嚅著，一副欲語還休的樣子。 兒子這才注意到母親銀灰色的頭髮， 深陷的眼窩以及打著細紋臉。母親，真的老了！

他 霍然記起一則兒時舊事。 那年他才6 歲，母親有事回鄉，不便攜他同行， 於是把他寄住在阿財叔家幾天。母親臨走時， 他驚恐地抱著母親的腿傷心大聲號哭道「 媽媽不要丟下我！媽媽不要走！」 最後母親沒有丟下他。他連忙離開房間，順手把門關上，不敢回頭， 深恐那記憶像鬼魅似地追纏而來。

他回到家，妻子與岳母正瘋狂的把母親房裡的一切扔個不亦樂乎。 身高3 呎的獎杯── 那是他小學作文比賽「我的母親」第1 名的勝利品！ 華英字典─ ─ 那是母親整個月省吃省用所買給他的第一份生日禮物！ 還有母親臨睡前要擦的風濕油，沒有為她擦，帶去老人院又有甚麼意義呢？「夠了，別再扔了！」兒子怒吼道。﹝這麼多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎麼放得下我的東西 ﹞。岳母沒好氣地說。 「 就是嘛！你趕快把你媽那張爛床給抬出去， 我明天要為我媽添張新的 ！」一堆童年的照片展現在兒子眼前，那是母親帶他到動物園和遊樂園拍的照片。 它們是我媽的財產，一樣也不能丟！」「你這算甚態度？對我媽這麼大聲，我要你向我媽道歉！」 「我娶妳就要愛妳的母親，為甚麼妳嫁給我就不能愛我的母親?]


雨後的黑夜分外冷寂，街道蕭瑟，行人車輛格外稀少。 一輛寶馬在路上飛馳，頻頻闖紅燈，陷黃格 呼一聲又飛馳而過。 那輛轎車一路奔往山崗上的那間老人院，停車直奔上樓，推開母親臥房的門。 他幽靈似地站著，母親正撫摸著風濕痛的雙腿低泣。 她見到兒子手中正拿著那瓶風濕油， 顯然感到安慰的說：「 媽忘了帶，幸好你拿來 ！ 他走到母親身邊，跪了下來。 很晚了，媽自己擦可以了，你明天還要上班，回去吧！」 他囁嚅片刻，終於忍不住啜泣道：「媽，對不起，請原諒我！我們回家去吧 ！」


後語 >

隨著自己愈長大， 看著父母親臉龐從年輕變憔悴， 頭髮從烏絲變白髮, 動作從迅捷變緩慢，多心疼！ 父母親總是將最好、最寶貴的留給我們，像蠟燭不停的燃燒自己，照亮孩子！ 而我呢？ 有沒有騰出一個空間給我的父母， 或者只是在當我需要停泊岸時，才會想起他們……

其實父母親要的真的不多，只是一句隨意的問候：爸、媽，你們今天好嗎？」 隨意買的宵夜，煮一頓再普通不過的晚餐; 睡前幫他們蓋蓋被子，天冷幫他們添衣服、戴手套……都能讓他們高興溫馨很久。

有時，我常在想：我希望我的子女以後如何對我那現在，我有沒有如此對待我的父母？ 我相信，人是環環相扣的；現在，你如何對待你的父母；以後，你的子女就如何待你。

人世間最難報的就是父母恩，願我們都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以恩之心孝順父母！

共勉之

生命不要求我們成為最好的，只要求我們作最大的努力！

老人安養院牆上發現的一篇文章

孩 子！當你還很小的時候， 我花了很多時間，教你慢慢用湯匙、用筷子吃東西。 教你繫鞋帶、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳頭髮、擰鼻涕。 這些和你在一起的點點滴滴，是多麼的令我懷念不已。 所以，當我想不起來，接不上話時， 請給我一點時間，等我一下， 讓我再想一想……極可能最後連要說什麼，我也一併忘記。

孩子！ 你忘記我們練習了好幾百回， 才學會的第一首娃娃歌嗎？是否還記得每天總要我絞盡腦汁，去回答不知道你從哪裡冒出來的嗎？ 所以，當我重覆又重覆說著老掉牙的故事， 哼著我孩提時代的兒歌時，體諒我。讓我繼續沉醉在這些回憶中吧！ 切望你，也能陪著我閒話家常吧！

孩子，現在我常忘了扣扣子、繫鞋帶。吃飯時，會弄髒衣服，梳頭髮時手還會不停的抖，不要催促我，要對我多一點耐心和溫柔， 只要有你在一起，就會有很多的溫暖湧上心頭。

孩子！如今，我的腳站也站不穩，走也走不動。所以，請你緊緊的握著我的手，陪著我，慢慢的。 就像當年一樣，我帶著你一步一步地走。若為人子女也不懂得如何體諒他們， 那他們便只能於痛苦中渡過餘生，黑暗中逝去 .... 讓他們知道家人才是最重要的。

愛情可以重新再找尋，但父母一生卻只有一個，要珍惜、珍重 !!!!

Tamu Gadang ke-11 2009

from left, me, kek lai, belle, md nor (kp), jin, tiang

Finally, I had done my job.
05.10.2009 - 13.10.2009 is the 9 days I will not forget in my life.
9 days which is full with memory, emotions, sweet and tears.
9 days which I might not have another such another 9 days which is so perfect.
Conflict and problems were occurred before this but it's all over already.
I just want to live all my memory in the sweetest way.
I'm glad that I can work with strong people in this tamu gadang.
They had showed me what is the true meaning of birokasi in an organisation, a trust from a leader to follower, a trust between true friends.
I want to thanks to Hui jing ( she is always beside me when I told her my problem, min yin ( mentally support), belle( my gang in tamu), Md Nor( ketua pengarah the most respective ppl in tamu gadang), tiang ming chee ( who willing to teach me from the beginnning, francis ( my gang in tamu also).

YOU R JUZ NOTHING

YOU ARE NOT MAN BUT LIKE A LADY.

YOU ARE NOT GENTLEMEN BUT ACTING IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS.

YOU ARE NOT A FAIR PERSON BUT KEEP SIDING YOUR FRIEND.

YOU DESERVED TO BE FAILED IN CELCOM MATTER EVEN THOUGH I DID PAID MY MERCY TO YOU. I STILL REMEBER YOUR WORDS:' IF I CAN SETTLE CELCOM AND 1BORNEO, I WILL TAKE THE REST OF THE JOB'!!!

MAYBE YOU FORGET ALREADY BUT YOUR WORDS CARVE DEEP INTO MY MIND AND HEART.
BECAUSE OF THIS, I TOLD MYSELF I WILL PROVED THAT I'M NOT AS STUPID AND NAIVE AS YOU THOUGHT.

FROM THE MOMENT YOU GET THIS POST IS NOT TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE BUT TO SHOW OFF TO SOMEONE YOU CAN BE AS MAN AS SHE THOUGHT.

FROM THE MOMENT WE HAVE PLACED IN THE SAME UNIT, YOU LOOK DOWN ON ME BUT YOU DIDN'T SHOW IT BECAUSE OF MY 2 FRIENDS BESIDE ME!!

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEVER REALIZED EVERYONE IS GROWING INCLUDED ME.
YOU CANT EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE THE SAME WHEN YOU FIRST MET ME.
PEOPLE CHANGE, SO DO I!!

FINAL AND LAST:
YOU DIDN'T WORTH MY RESPECT AND YOU ARE THE MOST IRRITIATING PERSON EVER IN MY 21 YEARS OLD LIFE.
YOU ARE SUCK!!!!

YOU ARE ARROGANT, AND IT WILL BECOME A STONE IN YOUR LIFE.
MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING, YOU CANT BUY EVERYTHING IN LIFE, YOU CANT USE MONEY TO BUY LOVE AND CARING.
YOU ARE JUST SO PATHETIC BECAUSE YOU DOES N'T KNOW HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE WHAT IS GOOD ANF BAD. YOU BLIND!!

3 MORE DAYS TO GO.
I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.
IN FUTURE, I'M NOT GOING TO TREAT YOU AS FREIND IN MY LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A PASSENGER IN MY LIFE. YOU WILL BECOME MY HISTORY AND IT'S AN UNWANTED HISTORY.

Leader

In my point of view,
no matter what offesence you received in a formal meeting.
Please behave like a leader should behave.
Ignoring ur supervisor is so immanners.
It showed that you are not qualified to become a leader.

Mood

My mood swing is worse in this week. There were a lot of mistakes and supprised happened in the past few days. It's seriously make my mood swing from east to west, from heaven to hell. I felt my life is like a Roller crosster. It really make my life so challenging.

Anyway, Tamu Gadang ke-11 is coming in One day plus plus.
Everything will be fine after this.

I'm a Griffan.
I'm the king in the sky and noble in ground.
I'm popular
I'm lack of confidence. Life will only success if I try. No pain no Gain. Life is like a gamble, you will never know the result unless u bate for that. No pain no gain.
'Your life is half perfect because you are not willing to let go. Sometimes you have to risk something to gain something. You need to have confidence to try, and not be afraid to lose. Life is like a gamble, without risks there is no gain, just like a dick without balls cannot make a girl pregnant.'

sorrow for myself

Sometimes, we really cant control what we have in our hand,
we thought we have but actually is the opposite effect,
Sometimes, we go for whatever we want,
we want desperately for a particular thing in our life and yet we just lost it,
Sometimes, we thought of cheer the people around us,
we thought we have the ability but the ability is slipping away from our hand,

Making a change ain't easy,
Turning a new leaf ain't simply

I just want to end this thing perfectly, why so hard and difficult for me?!
I can feel the tears dropped into my heart,
each drop of tear hurts my heart beating,
every each drop I can feel it so vividly in my mind.

If I'm facted to be failed for this time, I admit.
If god shut my door, I still have window with me.
But I cant see any window right now?!

Anyone can tell me where is the window?!

Random

I was doing my OB assignment and I found this quote. It seems like giving me a hint to keep my spirit.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” Persistence is the key to leadership.
from Conrad Hilton.

I want to become a successful people so I need to keep moving..!!!

My current condition

Even though, I'm back to Klang but my mind still at Sabah. I'm keep reminding myself what I have to done in this week. What is my task when I go back to Sabah. I just can feel the resposibility on my shoulder is getting heavier and heavier until the most stupid decision came into my mind : QUIT!!

I think I'm seriously tired since last semester until now. My tiredness might continue until next semester properly after Chinese New Year. I told my thoughts to my close friend just now. SHe gave me a lot of advices. The most effective sentences she had told me just now would be : 'try then fail is better than fail before try'. She knews what I'm worrying about, she knows my weakness. She gave me courage to keep myself keep fighting. Appreciate with what I have now.

Certainly, I feel it's so good to ahve a good friend like this. Especially to me ( a person who easily to give up and specimistic minded).

GAN EN!!

T-S-U-N-A-M-I..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!R.U.N!~!!!!~!~

Yeay!! I can hear the fireworks around my house area. I went for movie named Tsunami with my 2 brothers. This was the first time 3 of us hang out together for movie!yeay!!
I will recommend all of you watch this movie. At the beginning might be quite boring but climax is after half pass movie. I cried. seriously.
I can see the
A true love from a father towards his daughter even though the daughter doesn't know he was her father.
A love towards a friend's daughter, a love that he willing to sacrifice himself.
A love as a brave recuever, he gave up his chance to live just to save a man whom try to warned him before to stayed away from his fiancee.
A love from a mother to buy a pair of shoes for her beloved son just to encourage her coward son to go for a job interview.
A love of a officer who were quite selfish to the citizenz there, he tried his best to pull a man even though his hand was injured at that time. He sacrificed himself at the end.

The message that the director try to convey through the movie is :
Love is the power to make a person sacrifice for another.
Family are the dearest person in your life.
Responsiblity is a commitment for an adult/ professionist.

p/s: Dont miss it..!!

Doulos!!

I went for the only walking book fair in the world. It names Doulos. It's was actually organized by my seniors as their assignment. It's a big ship the size is quite similar with Titanic. The workers over there are work for charity. They follow this charity task because they are sincerely in Jesus Christ. They are the people who are willing to help the poor ones. It was actually a book fair which contain with more bible. The crew in the ships were so friendly, they smile to every one they met, they talked openly with the strangers. My senior had recommended me a book. Title : Geography atlas and ecopedia. He said it might be useful for me when I come to the 3rd year.
Lets you see the picture.
I will updates soon with the real one.

Privatized

This is the second time I privatized my blog from the public. The reason is I need some private place which I can't simply show it in the public. Particularly all those insufficient feeling were came from among of my friends. That's the main reason!! I felt the more I'm involve in outside activity, the more I want to voice out but I can't do it in public because I'm a selfish person. I don't have the guts to voice out. I'm seriously weak sometimes. But I understand human growth from failure, they growth stronger and tougher as they overcome their obstacles. I have been busying with Convocation activity ever since I started my 3rd semester and that's the reason why my Organizational Behavior got 29/60. I don't even can pass the paper with 50%. My mood seriously got affected from that. Even though, I tried to comfort myself with the silly reason : 'You didn't study, so what you're expecting from that paper?' Yes. In fact, yes. I did not study for that. I only have time flip through the slides only.

I'm getting more and more responsibility on myself. If at the end of the day, my result really got affected and I will choose to let it go. Reputation and ability sometimes could bring you any prove only the piece of the paper which you're going to receive at the end of your degree course will determined your future.

I really need time to rest after PAP2010.

Another shot!!

I just done my Pesta Ang Pau meeting few minutes ago. The first thought when I was in the meeting : I want to quit!!!

I can smell boom during the meeting. I don't like the behavior of certain people. All the people seems like showing of the importance for their position. Everyone is trying to show off how imortance is their unit is in the Pesta. Come on la, we cant work without each other man. We can move without any parts in the Pesta.

If these condition continue after Hari Raya, I'm seriously think of : Quitting!!!!!

Trust me people, I will consider about it!!!

words from my heart

As last semester started, I'm putting more responsibility as possible on my shoulder. I'm not just busy with studies and assignments but lots of activity I'm involved. Maybe this time is because I'm one of the leader and I can actually felt the stress but I can hold my pressure for not voicing out to everyone because I don't this bad habit to be spread. Another 2 weeks, I can determine myself whether am I in the right track for my university life. Friends courage, parents hope and the pressure is never less from my shoulder but sometimes getting heavier. Sometimes, I really feel like turning everything and let me make the decision, let me role the world. It is the time to change!!Change but no one hears me!!I can't be so selfish to make my decision alone. We work as a team. It's no such thing as the upper person will only put the blame on the head but not the assistant and group members!! Come on la, do you ever know what you actually crapping man?! Do you thought your words will comfort us!? No way man! I will feel it as a shame because we as a team cant assist you to the max. This the reason if we fail at the end of the day.
Come on, don't let your emotion carry your attitude.
Come on, don't let your attitude affect your behavior.
Come on, don't let me guess what you trying to said or what you is in your mind
I'm not you!! I don't know what are you thinking about!!
Tell us, what you want to do!!
Please be fair and square wit us as your group members.
Please separate clearly from friends and team members.

Mystery reviewed

The result already announced last night.
I was so shocked with the result last night.
I need some time to digest the solution.
The unit I got in Pesta Ang Pow 2010.
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Head Of Publisity
I need to finish my task in Pesta Convo Tamu Gadang.
It's only a month from now.
Stand Still.

Patience

I always keep myself reminded with this word. Patience, patience and patience.
I keep myself into a cool condition because it's worthless if I'm mad with certain thing.

Please. Bare in mind!!
People is always watching you from several direction.
People might try to threat you when you're not aware.
So, smile!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

p/s: I'm going for pap first meeting at 9am. Another meeting for pesta convo at the same time.
How am I going to split my body into two?!Actually I'm wondering what position I will get in pap.

Mystery shall review in the next post.

Friends

Sometimes I just wonder am I too rude to everyone?
My point is to those I'm not close with?!
'Close'
What's the meaning of close?!
I'm try to pull down certain people but in university,
there's no friends among the people,
at least until now, No.
We only can categorize those 'friends' as coursemates, schoolmates, unimates,etc.
But I never delined that I have some good friend in my tertiary school life.
They know me very well just like my 3 buddies in my hometown.
They advise, guide and encourage me several times,
They gave me confident and courage to overcome my obstacles,
They were besides me whenever I need them,
They don't judge a person by its ' look',

Certainly, some of the people in uni, they used their beauty to attract people's attention,
even though, they really have their ability,
but some part of their were build upon their beauty and the wealth they had.
Maybe my perception is wrong, maybe I'm prejudice to certain people right now.
Maye I could get a tight slap from certain people, but I don't care because if you did means you are admitting yourselves as one of them.
I found that people is better don't tight to close to each other,
too close will encounter more problems....
problems will diverse our relationship..

It's better, stay away from crowd and breath above the others..

Tired?! Read it!! You will understand!!

當對所有的事累的時候...〈寫得很好〉

「飛人」麥克喬登退休了，成為震驚全球的新聞，

耐吉的股票大跌，NBA 的陣腳大亂，

許多球迷都掉下了眼淚。

喬登也濕了眼眶，

尤其是當他看到自己的23號球衣被高高掛起時，

更以手遮面。

但他還是堅持地退休了，理由很簡單--

「雖然我體力還很棒，但是我的心已經疲累不堪。」

想起一位大陸的跳水名將，從小接受國家的栽培，

在世界比賽裡摘冠，眼看未來五年、

十年，可能都是她的天下。

才二十歲，她卻說要退休了，理由跟喬登一樣--
「我的心已累。」

大陸的溜冰名將陳露也是如此。

1995年，她拿下世界花式溜冰賽的冠軍，96年又拿下亞軍，

然後因為腿傷，成績一落千丈。

幸虧隔2年，在冬季奧運會上她又拿到了銅牌。

她高興極了，因為她早已打算在那次奧運之後轉為職業溜冰手。

那面銅牌，是她在體育界的謝幕之作。

至於那次的金牌得主，美國的李頻絲姬不也一樣嗎？

「我不要再參加這樣的比賽了，我要跟爸爸多聚聚，

溜了十幾年，比了十幾年，我累了。」

另一部戲的男主角，在外面偷情，

太太找到他，要他自己決定，

是選那個作攝影師的情婦，還是選娘家富有的妻子，

男人跟著老妻走了，只對情婦淡淡地說了一句話：

「我累了！」

人都會累，也都會喊累。

我的女兒，碰到學校功課多，前一天睡的晚，

當天下午又有才藝課的日子，總在晚飯後說她累了。

我自己，年輕時能下午文章、晚上畫畫，

仍然精力充沛，

現在卻只要下午寫篇文章，晚上就要喊累。

我那91歲的老母，更常喊累，

說去公園走一下，就累。

說朋友都死了，好累。

說「活著，真累」！

常想，我女兒、我自己，

與我的老母同樣說「我累了」，

其中卻有多大的不同？

孩子累，是身體累。

打個盹，喝瓶可樂，可能就不累了。

青年累，是工作壓力的累。

當工作完成，壓力解除，就不累了。

老年的累，是對人生的累，

拖著一個「臭皮囊」，走過幾十年的歲月，

該看的都看了， 能玩的都玩了，

不再好奇、不再激情，

他們的那句「我累了」，

是對生命失去了興趣。

人生的累，說不定也像旅行。

出發時興緻勃勃，一路有說有唱；

幾天趕場下來，

開始有了疲態、有了病號，

遊覽車上就少了歌聲，多了鼾聲。

漸漸旅行要結束了。

翻開行程表，最後一天的節目是

「上飛機，回到美好的家。」

每個人都會興奮地說：「好極了！要回家了！」

可是往前想想；

如果那麼想家，當初何必花錢出去旅行？

往後想想；

如果只有回家好，

為什麼待上一陣子，又會想出去走走？

人的一生，

就是在醒與睡、累與不累之間。

也彷彿是機器，要不斷操作、不斷保養，

不斷生產，也不斷加油、不斷供電。

直到有一天，

把那電源拉下，不再推上去，人生就結束了。

記得有一次去看一位病危的老將軍。

「我沒病，也不會病死；如果我死了，是累死的。」

老人家在病床上沙啞著說：

「病死，多慘？我打了一輩子的勝仗，

為什麼要在最後輸給病。

所以我是累死的，我只是累，累就要休息，

那不是被勒令從人生退休，那是我主動請辭啊！」

話說完，沒多久，他就死了。

喪禮上，沒人哭，大家都說他活的太累了，自己走的。

很欣賞這老將軍的哲學。

有一天，我走，

我也是因為累了，

寧願高高興興地回到我溫暖的天家。

我相信，在家待一陣子。

我又會心動、行動-參加另一個生命的旅程。

男朋友說：

我每天這麼辛苦的工作，為的還不是咱們的將來？

我每天的工作壓力已經這麼大了，

為什麼妳就不能多體諒我一點兒？

我也想多陪陪妳呀，

可妳能不能也多想想咱們的未來呢？

女朋友心裡想，每天下班就是聽你抱怨公司的事情，

難得休假出去玩，

還得分擔你對收假後未完成工作的憂慮，

眼前我都快忍不住想跟你提分手了，

你竟還在那兒大言不慚地同我談未來？

～取自生活周遭～

------------------------------------------------------------------------

努力找到自己生活上的平衡點，

輕鬆快活地過一輩子，

不只是一個夢想，

也是對自己與人生的責任！

自己不幸福快樂，

又怎麼能讓別人幸福快樂呢？

臉上沒有笑容、或者是滿嘴抱怨的人，

就算再怎麼犧牲付出，

真的能夠讓別人打從心裡頭幸福快樂嗎？

每封信都代表一份緣的傳遞.......
看信是一種幸福、它代表你有空閒..

沒空看信也是一種幸福
它代表你有比看信更重要的事忙著..

Another trip!! Kundasang!!!

Car Broken down!!

Sun rise at 5am!!!

Hot Spring view..!!

Rafflesia!!!The biggest flower in the world!!

From left: min yin, frankie, me, jun,jing

KK mountain at 6pm from the fresh market!!

KK mountain at 6am from my hotel!!

The first sun rise in my life..!!

the flower seems so small on my hand!!haha

Hot spring!!here we come!!

Another Snape!!

Our hotel!!gals on the left, guy on the right!!

p/s: I'm satisfied with this trip!! Even though some accident happened!!
I wish to go travel with you guys again!!!

Kelly Bay

I went for Kelly Bay from 18 and 19 August.
Photos will show everything!!
p/s: I hope we can gang out together next time!!

Recover from Sorrow

Thanks for all the concerns on the last post. It took me long time enough to recover my heart and drag my attention back from emotion. School blocked msn since last 2 weeks. So now, I only can use msn when my roommate is out for dating then I can borrow her broadband. She is kind enough to us. The feeling is so good if you can online in your room!! The feeling is just like you are at your own house..!!

I might not update that frequent from now onwards because I will be busy with assignments and activity and examssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

Cant wait to go back on September..!!!!

p/s: I met Alex last night, he gave me a birthday suprise!!
My favourite vella wine ( 5 litles)!!!whahahha..thanks alex!!!

sorrow

It has been more than a year I had studied in Sabah. From all these times, I had came through a lot of obstacles but I'm glad that there's always a bunch of friend crossed over those difficulties with me. Things became so different until I called up my brother on Sunday night. He was a lone in his room. I was talking to him especially in his academic. He might lost his chance to continue his studies if he failed to achieved average marks in his final examination. I know it has become his pressure after he failed in his mid term.

Once I asked him about our family. He told me his opinion which has dragged me into the deep sea. I have lost my concentration during the whole monday morning and I decided to watch a movie after class. I'm silly enough thought that I can overcome this problem easily but I couldn't. My brother who is always think about my parents told me that : HE WANTS TO LEAVE THIS HOME FOR FURTHER STUDY!
What he's trying to convey is he want to stay at hostel instead of home. I was shock with his words and I cant figure what has make him came to these minded. But I told him if you really want to leave this home please put effort in your academic and look at me. I can leave the house with praised and proudly. He remained silence.

I had realised the seriousnessof my brother so I decided to tell me mother. I tole her please appreciate with what you have. You have a good son who didn't ask for more, who is obedient all this while. If he has this minded which means he will do it once he is ready. I don't kow what happenned to my father who is blind with al his kindness. Dad wasn't always care what happenned to my fatty brother. Even myself can feel the unfairness between two brothers, what you exect my fatty brother to react?! pretend blind or deaf all the time?! Even he tried to ignore those unfairness, human will collapse onve they have reached thier optimum tolerate.

Mum cried in the phone with me last night. I can't bare with that dissappointed that my mum faced in this family. I wanted to help her but what can I do?!nothing!!! I can only give her courage from here. She is been feeling so tired all these time but she stay strong for us. She put all her hopes on my fatty brother and me. I know I musn't fail her.

At these time, I must encourage my brother to keep up his work in study and always bring the good news to my mother to delight her boring life.
yeanyeon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Special dedicate this song to my beloved mother and fatty brother:

Josh Groban - You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved


p/s: my youngest brother been expell from school. Actualy I'm expeced that to happen. no suprise at all. If he continue like that, I hope the next person to take him is police.

Busy life again

It has been more than one week I'm away from my blog. I got no choice because library wireless very weak. I don't online unless is necessary. Konvokesyen Tamu Gadang-11 paper work is in the process now. Letters will be ready to fax and follow the details by calls.

I'm not really feeling well recently.Caught into headache and dizzy since Monday. Flue H1N1 is getting worse in UMS. Several students has been wearing mask to lectures or any where they want to travel. Majority of us still dont aware with the serious condition. As I know, there's 4 students have been certified positive to H1N1. the most stupid decision is they only quarantine all the students who has interact with all the patients but not the whole school. I really pray hard for all the people in the university. I don't want uni to be quarantined because I only can stay in my room.

Hope August pass faster.
I wish I'm in September now.

21st Birthday celebration

happy birthday, eve ( my roommate)!!!!

28.07.2009

I'm officially 21st years old. There are lots of advantages after I turn into adult. I can go in casino (if I'm at klang right now, I will straight headed up to genting), I can vote for the coming election ( BN, you are not going to have my vote, blek!!), I can marry I'm so desperate to ( joking man!!)

Chew hong,kkkl, lilian, chealsea, oi wey, aen and karien gave me a 'surprise' at 12am.They bought me a piece of chocolate banana from secret receipe( my favourite) and a traditional egg.

Thanks for their effort for that. But I'm seriously tired on that night.They forced me to finished the cake and egg so it affected my sleeps. I cant sleep until 2am because my stomach is full with cakes and egg.

I skipped class in Tuesday's afternon. Fong Mein and I went to Karamunsing for karaoke session. We sang for 4 hours with only 9.20 bucks without any tittsnitts but only a glass of drink. Anyway, it's worth it after all. She accompany me for the whole afternoon because I don't have anyone to accompany on my 21st birthday. I'm gratitude with what she has done to me and she's really a true friend in Sabah. Thank yea.

love story!!! Bot of us love the sog so much!!!

Then, I ate maggee with my drama as usual. My another roommate named Dana ( she's same birthday with me) treat us McD( large set). SO, my stomach is full with food and I feel unconfortable with it.

Then, I received hui jing's message. She asked me to get prepard in 15 minutes. I was about to go to bed at that time. After I have change my clothes, I falled a sleep util Min Yin called me.

We went to atmosphere but unfortunately atmosphere closed at 11pm. All of us were so shocked. At the end, we went to the bed at kk.

They gave me an American chocolate cake and a DOREAMON as a present.

Thanks to francis, frankie,min yin and hui jing!!

Without you guys accompany me for the night, I will definitely feel so empty on my birthday!!

Photos!~!~!~!~!~!~!

menu

doreamon

the bed

looks alike wei!~!~!~!

the gals

the 4 of us

the guys

another snape!~!~





frankie and Me!

my birthday cake!

Francis insisted to put the little doreamon on the cake!!

thanks for all the whies via message and facebook!!!

thanks a lot!~!~!~

p/s: I enjoyed my birthday celebration.I will take have another celebration at the end of this year. Although is a litttle bit too late, but I just want to celebrate with my parents and close friends.

friends at Klang, c u at sept!!!

Anticipate

I want to review my solution for my last post. I'm taking reading and writing for my English in this semester. I'm required to write some essay and summary to complete my English course. In order to make myself prepared for that, I will start practice my writing skill in my blog. So, I needs a favor from all my readers. Please do correct my mistake in writing through email or comment. Either one is not a problem for me. I know I have to face my weakness. I know I have to do it.
So, guys!! help me. Thanks a lot

p/s: Tomorrow is my Big day! 21st Birthday already. I'm alone at Sabah. I don't have the passion to celebrate with people. I cant ask or request my friend to celebrate with me asdin they have their own business to busy with.
Mum & dad, I hope you are here with me.

happy birthday!!

Writting and reading

From today onwards, I will start my blogging with full proper writing skill. Proper writing is in the sense of return my post in full English sentence.

I will review my main reason in the next post!!
see yea!!

p/s: looking for the day to come!!

瀟灑人間

‘靜靜的我﹐正如我悄悄的來﹐
我揮一揮衣袖﹐不帶走一片雲彩’

徐志摩的名句。
通常被用著離別的情景。

每當有親人離去的時候﹐這句話一定會在我的腦海里揮只不去.

答應過你的事﹐我會盡力辦到。
安息吧﹐大伯母。

p/s: 昨日好想哭但是沒有眼淚﹐往日我都不能控制自己。看來﹐我真的長大了。

Obituary

I had received a message from my mother around 11am. She bought me a bad news. My eldest aunt passed away in this morning around 6am. Even though, I have already prepared myself for the bad news but I just can't accept it in that moment.

I'm not every close to her. In fact, my age is just similar with her granddaughter but she cares a lot for me. I'm so regretted I didn't visit her during the last summer holiday after I got myself home.How shameful is this!!I can't forgive myself from that. According to my mother, she was been visitting the hospital quite frequent since December last year. She was admitted to Limpha cancer after she went for doctor's consultation.

Last year, somewhere around April was her husband, my eldest uncle leaved us to another atmosphere. I still can remembered every single thing during the funeral. Her face was burst with tears, she can't afford to lose her husband. And now, they shall met again in heaven.

After I received the message, I can't concentrated on my work not even listen to the lectures. I just feel like lock myself in the bathroom let the water flash on my body and I cry. I couldn't find any word to describe my current situation. In my heart, I was hoping she can wait until September. Wait for me to go back to say goodbye to her.
After she leaved, I'm sure our family might seperate aparts. These is because the leaved of the elderlies, youngs one wouldn't have the passion to live as a family.

Another my family member leaved me on July. The last one was my grandmother. Her funeral held on my 13th yearsold birthday. There was the first birthday she wasn't with me but with her colded body which lied in a coffin. At that moment, I just wished that she could wish me happy birthday.
My 21st birthday is one more week from now. I have no mood to celebrate and I don't feel like celebrating.

July, nothing cheerful for me but sadness leaved behind.
I might forget it one day but the scar will keeps me reminded forever.

" Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take cartain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted."

Harry Potter's ROckz..!!!!

Harry Potter and the half blood prince!!
I have been waiting for this movie since year 2007. After this movie, I have to wait for another one year for the seventh movie. (expected showing at year Dec 2010)
This is the first time I got the chance to watch harry potter series on the first day and it's first show!!Overall, the sixth harry potter is much more better than the fifth movie!!
Actually, in my point of view the fifth book also became the most boring book in the whole series.
Anyway, enjoy the technique they had used in the movie especially for the magic performed.
The location they showed in movie and the actor's performance has been improving from time to time.Besides that, harry potter and the half blood prince contained a little bit more Humor among Harry, Ron and Hermoine.

I think I will watch it again.yeay!!!

So, guys. Don't miss it!!

Anticipating

I went out with kylye,lilian and oi wey for dinner. Before that, we headed to hospital because kylye need to go for X-ray for her hand.

Kylye bought up a topic during dinner time: yeanyeon, what you want for your birthday?!

_________________________________________________________________
And this morning, Min yin and francis did asked me for the same question.

Actually, I have been figuring about this topic since few months ago.
What I wished for this 21 years old birthday?!
I wished to have a birthday party with all my friends.
I'm so envy with ailin because she had her birthday celebration at KEC.

At this time, I just wish that my family is with me for these special day.
But I know, it's just a dream.

There's always dream keeps me alive.

Random

When I was still a teenage, friends meant a lot for me.
At this time, I will pay my prestigious to the closed one only.
The rest, I will let it go like just like that.
Because,
Everyone has their life to carry on, whatever they are busy with,
is for their future.

I might be just a passengers or a small potato for certain people,
but only my decision could draw the map of my life.

No matter how crooked the road will be,
walk with my chest up and confidence,
another sunshine is waiting for me.

I'm back..!!

I slept at 3.30am on friday and I woke up at 5am.
1.30 hours kept me awake for another 20 hours.I cried on plane because I can't help it any more.
I reached hostel at 1pm. Thanks to my friend who came back 2 days earlier than me had rented a car for us.
I got back my room, my table, my bed and ALL MY ROOMMATES..!!!
YEAY!!!
I felt so warm with them because we had stayed together for one year, so it's just like we came to the place that we are belong to.
I had a very tight sleep on friday night. Apart of it was because of tiredness, another reason was I'm sleeping on the same bed!!Haha!!

So far so good for my new sem.
Another headache problem is I only can take 17 credit hours for this sem.
Such a waste of my another 4 credit hours.
Thanks to Business chief officer.
They caused us this problem.

p/s: I will update as soon as possible.
Take care, guys!!!

Take care,ppl!!

I'm going to leave Klang on 10.20am later.
I cant sleep at all.
I always did that on the day before I went back.
This is because I could sleep on a new bed with tiredness body.
So I will have a tight sleep.
This is to avoid myself of getting homesick.
Take care people.
See you guys on September.
Bye, dad.
Bye, mum..
Bye, fatty lee...
Bye, Bryan lee....
Bye, my frens at Klang.....

Primary gathering

I went out with primary school frens last night.

I'm sorry I cant call all of them because:

I lose some of their contact due to my stupid phone!!

The restaurant is : Restaurant Mediterranian, Bukit Tinggi.

Environment not bad.

Drinks not bad.

Food not bad.

Chef also quite handsome.

Photossssssssssssssss!!

当你和他们在一起，你将恢复你最真的一面。

我永远珍惜你们!!

保重!

It's just did!!

Result's day falled on today.

Micheal Jackson passed away today caused by cardiac arrest.

I'm here to mourn for Michael Jackson even though I'm not really interested in him.

All I knew about him is all the surgery he have had done to himself!~!!~!~~~!!~!~!~!

I'm here to pay my appreciation to those who have helped me through the whole last semester at Sabah.

Your words gave me spirit to continue my fighting.

Thanks a lot.

Little Brother

My little brother created another crime again. Her tuition teacher was my former teacher in primary school. She called me up and told me that my brother had taken an old handphone and sold it to his tuitionmate until the mother came to tuition centre asked for the money back.
The handphone came with cellphone,charger and activate sim card!!
The price is Rm150. How expensive is it

I'm thinking just now why must he so smart to think of doing all this stuff. For a standard six student, he really think put of the box. If he was taught in a good condition since young, he will be the star. What's the reason make him become so BArbarian, Moron, Idiot!!
All this while I have been persuaing myself with the reason of he's still young and guys usually immature at this age. At this time, I seriously BEHTAHAN!!!!!

First dream :
I always imagine in my mind.
There's another parents suddenly pop-up and told my parents: I'm so sorry Mr.Lee and Mrs. Lee, I'm afraid you had taken my daughter (which is me) away from us 20 years ago.
Then I have to follow them go back to a new home and I have 4 elder brothers. They treat me very very good. The best thing is I'm free from disaster. I'm away from the brother's problem, away from family fanancial problems.
What I need to sacrifice is I have to delete all the memory and continue my new life.

The story above is just a part of my imagination and IT WILL NEVER COME TRUE IN MY LIFE!!!

Second dream:
One day, two police officer came to my house and they found that My little brother was involved in criminal. If there is no any other objection, we will send them to juvenil jail until he's 18 years old.

You know what?! I will be the first one who clapping my hand hardly to let people know how realise I'm after he was caught into juvenil jail..!!

The second story above is one of my dream that it might come true. I really hope this day will come faster.

**pray harder**

I MAD on my DAD

I started today with a very nice morning. I went Eng Ann pasar Pagi with my mum and chat with my mum for the whole morning at shop. Dad came back with every good mood and he bought Rojak for us. We were enjoying our Rojak while my uncle came to our shop.

Adults started to have their chatting. I was reading my story book at the side. At 1pm, mum ask me to accompany her to fetch my youngest brother ,so I did follow.
After I got back from shop, my youngest brother was craving for food so I passed a box of cake to him. I don't know what he did, the whole box of cake dropped on the florr. I was mad at first and I ordered him to pick up all the cakes and eat it. He refused.

After that, dad instructed me to pick up one of the cake on the floor which means he want to eat it. He asked me for tissue but unfourtunately, I don't have any. He was wrapping the cake with a slice of tissue quite a while then I said just eat it if you want to eat it. This was what my grandma did when I was young. She will just blowed sain or dirty stuff away and swollen the food.

Frankly speaking, I dont mind the dirt unless the food was terribly poluted. My dad was playing around his cake with his stupid ass, then I was like: do you want me to take a photo of your sexy post?' Then I get my camera ready.

WHen I went near by him, he grabbed a letter and hit on my forehead.
THIS IS THE THING GOT ME MAD ON HIM!!!

I was stunned then I move backwards and take out my book and start reading.
He said : you dare to said your brother very small gas. Look at yourself, you are also apart like him.'
I holded my volume and controlled my anger said: If want to play also no need to hit people's forehead want ma!
For me, hitting people forehead is an extremely IMPOLITE and super Kurang Ajar attitude!!
This's just because of he is my dad if he's not. I will straight yelled on him and I dont give a DAMM on the people!!

He fighted back: friend beat you can la, I just hit your head softly then u mangamuk now..!!
I know if I fight back then the case will getting serious, I just said : 'okok, nothign now!'
He start to throw all his stuff around and making very terrible noice in the shop.
I was thinking, how silly you are as a father?! Dont you think you are a bit over?!

From the moment I was back from my holiday, I tried my very best to give him my commitment. What he asked me to do , I will said : ok, no problem. I swear to god, I tried my very best not to make him angry.
He always beat my hand and said: your hand so fat, nice to beat!
Nevermind, I let you beat.
You tell me: see my fatty daughter!!
Fine, I admitted it.
Becaus eI know you were joking on me.

BUT NOT THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes parents really have to learn to respect their childred.
Sometimes, I dont feel like coming back to this home. Eventhough, I missed them so much but I rather keep all the sweet memory in my mind than involved in such a stupid, pointless fight.

你虽然是我老爸， 我希望你会学会尊重我们。
老爸不是永远都对的。

2009年6月20日， 父亲节前夕
我和老爸闹翻了!!!!!!!!