New Templates..!!

I'm the painter...
GOtna catch up with assignmnets...
Tired until finish my final..!~@~!#

My weakness

Received a precious comment from an old friend whom currently in Russia for her Medical study.
Thanks a lot for your comment and advise.
I know keep avoiding is not the way to solve my problem.
This is my psychological problem.
I'm a person who afraid of loneliness.
All this while, I had two close seniors infact my closest friends in my university walk along with me,
They seriously walked along with me all the time.
When, I'm going to fall. They will be there.
But situation will change, I have to grow up.
I have to walk alone after this semester.
The joy and happiness that we had build through our past is going to become our history.
From 1st year, a girl whom only know study is the most important had change to a person who like to think too much.
She kept all the secrets in her heart, no one can understand.
She knows her weaknesses, she had trying very hard to change her irritiating attitude.
Obviously, she failed.
She always concerned for her family because she knows how precious her family is to give her support.
She wish to fly as high as possible but she always pulled back by certain force(self-confidence).
Since last time, I will said I'm a person with very less self confidence ( maybe because of my body size).
Sometimes, she wonder if her body is slim like model, will she become more confidence to herself?!
I doubts but with slim body is better than an overweight body shape.
She wish someone can understand her, she is not hoping for much.
At least a good friend who can understand me.
A girl who always have to carry the responsibility is always tired.
Tired until she has to explore what she had done for the whole day before she slept.
Sometimes, she cant sleep because of the incident that happened in the day.
MSM event, might be the last event for me in the my degree.
Seniors asked me to try it out if the feeling is not right then just take a rest.
There's no point carry on anymore.
My heart tell me to move on but my mind ask me to stop.
If I had a choice, I wish to have a life with my music, basketball, studies and events together.
If I were a boy...
maybe I can be more firmed with my decision...
If I were a boy...
I don't have so much time to doubts my decision but to carry on...
If I were a boy...
I will be tough as a real man.
But I'm a girl..
Thanks to my parents had given me a female identity..
They makes me think further and outside the box...
My weakness is I ALWAYS THINK TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! chilaka..!!

Updates

I will not post anything unless ir really created numerous effect to my life. I'm quite busy with my assignments currently. In fact, I have assignments stil not started yet. Very emotional recently, I don't know what's the problem.
jealous?
miss the praised like last time?
empty is the most suitable word to describe my life now...
was wondering should I change my flight ticket o not...
mum said last year d.. join nia la.. no prob ba..
then ok, I joint.

I wished someone can tell me.. what I had become until now?! what's my difference since last time..
someone...
please tell me...
thanks

Thing that caught my attention since last year

All this while, I'm in Sabah.
I always try my very best to solve all the obstacles occurred in my life.
I did complaint.
I did give up.
I did a lot of negative behavior to keep myself in my own life box.
However, life carry on smoothly as I wished since the first day I stepped my first step in this land.

After I have adapted myself here for almost 2 years,
I actually enjoy very much with my single life here.
If I could add in my transportation here then my life will be awesome.
Then I started to think about my future as in I have one more year a heads from here,
then I will graduate from my degree from UMS.
So, now my future is the main attention in my life.
Ever since my family had problem, my future is always the main concern in my life.
Before this, I told myself I will go back to my home and stay with my parents after I start working so that I can accompany them especially my daddy.
But now I have any different thought for my future.

What had make me success in UMS?!
I always question myself..
I came out with a conclusion because I'm far away from my home then I can avoid from the quarrel with family.
These is the main factor that can make me feel relax in handling my things here.
Since last May holiday started, I knew that home is not the place I can stay if I started my career.
Not to mean that I'm so cruel to leave my parents with two younger brothers.
But, I can only concentrate in my work if I leaved my house just like the condition in Sabah now.

I keep searching and searching a way for me to go abroad for my career.
I know I mustn't in hurry to work it out and things will change in one year time.
I might be not alive in this coming one year. Tragedy is kindna subjective for me.
I'm still with my principle, if there is any chance to go further,
I will say
YES!!

Glory + Normal

Pesta Ang Pow UMS was performed greatly on last satuday night at Dewan Chancellor, UMS.
That was full house for that night.
I really appreciate with all the hard work we had done and challenges we had overcome it.
Thanks to my strong teammates, 16 of us had created glory to ourselves and to PAP as well.
I really hope that they had learned something through out this event.
It's hard to gather all the strong and tough people in one team But we are the one strong team.
All the misunderstand and stress or conflict, I bag forgiveness from all of you.
I apologize if I ever hurt you in the past, present and future.
Carry on your university life with fun and challenges.
Enjoy who you are as a student in this protected area.
Growth as much as you could to decrease harmful impact in your future.
All the best and good luck!!
Happy Chinese new year. See yea, iron men unit publicity Pesta Ang Pow 2010.

LIFE..........

Sometimes, life is so unpredictable..
The more you had prepared, the more thing you might lose..
The more thins you cant control....!!!

力不從心

老弟去了雲頂﹐留下我一個孤零零地守在店里。
回家的路上﹐全巴生交通大癱瘓。
老爸在車上說﹐近年來都受盡了老媽的壞脾氣﹔反之﹐ 老媽又向我大吐苦水﹐
讓我的心情漣漣起漪﹐
淚水還會不聽使喚的留下來﹐
哭﹐不能解決問題﹐
但我能做什麼?!
兩老的互不相讓﹔兩小又惹多生事﹐
每天的吵架問題都是一樣的﹐
難道你們不悶嗎?
嘴裡說很累但是還是不停的找話題來吵﹐
還是你們想有一天其中一人遠離你們才會閉上你們的嘴啊?!
如果真的能成全你們﹐我甘願為那片魚肉﹐任你為所欲為﹐
每一天我盼的是家里人高高興興的﹐
光這一點﹐我看還真的要了他們的命。
老爸說等我學成歸來﹐就是他讓他的生命永生的時候﹐
倘若這成了事實﹐這家也會散了﹐
老媽終日苦面向對﹐
一位有病的人還有多少日子﹐10年對他來說簡直就是恩賜了﹐
過去的讓它過去﹐如果你認為他的現在的一切都是報應﹐
難道他不會後悔嗎?!為什麼還要在每一次都斗嘴都為了老問題﹐
要是覺得負擔重了﹐節儉啦。。
老爸還沒有患病的時候﹐他應該都沒有不允許你不開冷氣吧?!
每個星期就那麼一天啊。。。
我時常都在想﹐如果有那麼的一天﹐
有人賞識我願意以高價的薪水但必須遠離家裡﹐
我會欣然的接受。。。
如果你們想更早當寡婦或則孤哀兒的話﹐
我真的無話可說﹐
現在我每一年的生日願望﹐新年願望都是希望可憐我﹐
讓我家的兩老和和氣氣﹐
讓他們有這個福氣看到我們三個成家立業。。。
老天爺﹐我的心聲﹐
您可否聽見了?!


遠在西方的外公外婆﹐可不可以救救你孫女啊??
她快倒下了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
每晚的眼淚都伴著她入眠。。。。。。。。