sorrow for myself

Sometimes, we really cant control what we have in our hand,
we thought we have but actually is the opposite effect,
Sometimes, we go for whatever we want,
we want desperately for a particular thing in our life and yet we just lost it,
Sometimes, we thought of cheer the people around us,
we thought we have the ability but the ability is slipping away from our hand,

Making a change ain't easy,
Turning a new leaf ain't simply

I just want to end this thing perfectly, why so hard and difficult for me?!
I can feel the tears dropped into my heart,
each drop of tear hurts my heart beating,
every each drop I can feel it so vividly in my mind.

If I'm facted to be failed for this time, I admit.
If god shut my door, I still have window with me.
But I cant see any window right now?!

Anyone can tell me where is the window?!

Random

I was doing my OB assignment and I found this quote. It seems like giving me a hint to keep my spirit.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” Persistence is the key to leadership.
from Conrad Hilton.

I want to become a successful people so I need to keep moving..!!!

My current condition

Even though, I'm back to Klang but my mind still at Sabah. I'm keep reminding myself what I have to done in this week. What is my task when I go back to Sabah. I just can feel the resposibility on my shoulder is getting heavier and heavier until the most stupid decision came into my mind : QUIT!!

I think I'm seriously tired since last semester until now. My tiredness might continue until next semester properly after Chinese New Year. I told my thoughts to my close friend just now. SHe gave me a lot of advices. The most effective sentences she had told me just now would be : 'try then fail is better than fail before try'. She knews what I'm worrying about, she knows my weakness. She gave me courage to keep myself keep fighting. Appreciate with what I have now.

Certainly, I feel it's so good to ahve a good friend like this. Especially to me ( a person who easily to give up and specimistic minded).

GAN EN!!

T-S-U-N-A-M-I..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!R.U.N!~!!!!~!~

Yeay!! I can hear the fireworks around my house area. I went for movie named Tsunami with my 2 brothers. This was the first time 3 of us hang out together for movie!yeay!!
I will recommend all of you watch this movie. At the beginning might be quite boring but climax is after half pass movie. I cried. seriously.
I can see the
A true love from a father towards his daughter even though the daughter doesn't know he was her father.
A love towards a friend's daughter, a love that he willing to sacrifice himself.
A love as a brave recuever, he gave up his chance to live just to save a man whom try to warned him before to stayed away from his fiancee.
A love from a mother to buy a pair of shoes for her beloved son just to encourage her coward son to go for a job interview.
A love of a officer who were quite selfish to the citizenz there, he tried his best to pull a man even though his hand was injured at that time. He sacrificed himself at the end.

The message that the director try to convey through the movie is :
Love is the power to make a person sacrifice for another.
Family are the dearest person in your life.
Responsiblity is a commitment for an adult/ professionist.

p/s: Dont miss it..!!

Doulos!!

I went for the only walking book fair in the world. It names Doulos. It's was actually organized by my seniors as their assignment. It's a big ship the size is quite similar with Titanic. The workers over there are work for charity. They follow this charity task because they are sincerely in Jesus Christ. They are the people who are willing to help the poor ones. It was actually a book fair which contain with more bible. The crew in the ships were so friendly, they smile to every one they met, they talked openly with the strangers. My senior had recommended me a book. Title : Geography atlas and ecopedia. He said it might be useful for me when I come to the 3rd year.
Lets you see the picture.
I will updates soon with the real one.

Privatized

This is the second time I privatized my blog from the public. The reason is I need some private place which I can't simply show it in the public. Particularly all those insufficient feeling were came from among of my friends. That's the main reason!! I felt the more I'm involve in outside activity, the more I want to voice out but I can't do it in public because I'm a selfish person. I don't have the guts to voice out. I'm seriously weak sometimes. But I understand human growth from failure, they growth stronger and tougher as they overcome their obstacles. I have been busying with Convocation activity ever since I started my 3rd semester and that's the reason why my Organizational Behavior got 29/60. I don't even can pass the paper with 50%. My mood seriously got affected from that. Even though, I tried to comfort myself with the silly reason : 'You didn't study, so what you're expecting from that paper?' Yes. In fact, yes. I did not study for that. I only have time flip through the slides only.

I'm getting more and more responsibility on myself. If at the end of the day, my result really got affected and I will choose to let it go. Reputation and ability sometimes could bring you any prove only the piece of the paper which you're going to receive at the end of your degree course will determined your future.

I really need time to rest after PAP2010.

Another shot!!

I just done my Pesta Ang Pau meeting few minutes ago. The first thought when I was in the meeting : I want to quit!!!

I can smell boom during the meeting. I don't like the behavior of certain people. All the people seems like showing of the importance for their position. Everyone is trying to show off how imortance is their unit is in the Pesta. Come on la, we cant work without each other man. We can move without any parts in the Pesta.

If these condition continue after Hari Raya, I'm seriously think of : Quitting!!!!!

Trust me people, I will consider about it!!!

words from my heart

As last semester started, I'm putting more responsibility as possible on my shoulder. I'm not just busy with studies and assignments but lots of activity I'm involved. Maybe this time is because I'm one of the leader and I can actually felt the stress but I can hold my pressure for not voicing out to everyone because I don't this bad habit to be spread. Another 2 weeks, I can determine myself whether am I in the right track for my university life. Friends courage, parents hope and the pressure is never less from my shoulder but sometimes getting heavier. Sometimes, I really feel like turning everything and let me make the decision, let me role the world. It is the time to change!!Change but no one hears me!!I can't be so selfish to make my decision alone. We work as a team. It's no such thing as the upper person will only put the blame on the head but not the assistant and group members!! Come on la, do you ever know what you actually crapping man?! Do you thought your words will comfort us!? No way man! I will feel it as a shame because we as a team cant assist you to the max. This the reason if we fail at the end of the day.
Come on, don't let your emotion carry your attitude.
Come on, don't let your attitude affect your behavior.
Come on, don't let me guess what you trying to said or what you is in your mind
I'm not you!! I don't know what are you thinking about!!
Tell us, what you want to do!!
Please be fair and square wit us as your group members.
Please separate clearly from friends and team members.

Mystery reviewed

The result already announced last night.
I was so shocked with the result last night.
I need some time to digest the solution.
The unit I got in Pesta Ang Pow 2010.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Head Of Publisity
I need to finish my task in Pesta Convo Tamu Gadang.
It's only a month from now.
Stand Still.

Patience

I always keep myself reminded with this word. Patience, patience and patience.
I keep myself into a cool condition because it's worthless if I'm mad with certain thing.

Please. Bare in mind!!
People is always watching you from several direction.
People might try to threat you when you're not aware.
So, smile!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

p/s: I'm going for pap first meeting at 9am. Another meeting for pesta convo at the same time.
How am I going to split my body into two?!Actually I'm wondering what position I will get in pap.

Mystery shall review in the next post.