sorrow for myself

Sometimes, we really cant control what we have in our hand,
we thought we have but actually is the opposite effect,
Sometimes, we go for whatever we want,
we want desperately for a particular thing in our life and yet we just lost it,
Sometimes, we thought of cheer the people around us,
we thought we have the ability but the ability is slipping away from our hand,

Making a change ain't easy,
Turning a new leaf ain't simply

I just want to end this thing perfectly, why so hard and difficult for me?!
I can feel the tears dropped into my heart,
each drop of tear hurts my heart beating,
every each drop I can feel it so vividly in my mind.

If I'm facted to be failed for this time, I admit.
If god shut my door, I still have window with me.
But I cant see any window right now?!

Anyone can tell me where is the window?!