Emo Christmas Night

Merry Christmas to everyone.
I'm alone again in these special day.
Maybe I'm used to be alone so far.
No friends, no partner ,sometime no family(when I was in Sabah)

Dad has asked me have I make up my mind in the MPP sekretariat.
I was stunned in a moment and I dont what to tell him.
He said he has asked his friend because his friend has a daughter in Uni also.
He said as long as it doesnt effect my result then just try it out lo.
I was thinking eventhough My dad himself is giving me courages to move on why am I still questioning my ability.
Last time,my dad dont even care my homework because he believes I can manage myself but this time.He voiced out.
I still remembered when I just came back from Sabah,he was so happy and now he felt glad of me because he is able to tell his friend his daughter is in LOCAL UNI now!!
Maybe this 's the only thing I can make him proud of in the passed 20 years.
I will considered it again because I know opportunity doesnt come twice.
'Dont be afraid dont have capacity, do worry for no ABILITY'

Another case,mum told me she hopes I can graduate as a master holder.
I did tell her It takes 2 years of time,
bit she said degree already taken 3 years,Master only 2 years.
What are you worrying?!
I was stunned again.
I'm not afraid to continue as a Master but I'm afraid of mum cant stand until that long time.
She's old.i cant deny that.
The only thing I want to do the most is graduate as soon as possible to share the burden that my mum has taken ovr from my dad 5 years ago.
Her health is the most important thing in this world.

I dont want history to repeat again.
When my grandmother was about reaching the age she can actually enjoy her life and yet
god has taken her away from me.
Once a while before when I was small,
I still remembered I told my grandma I will bring you to my graduation day when
the 'square cap' is on my head.
You will attend my wedding and you will have great granchild.
You smiled and said when the time has come I 'm already in heaven and watching at you from the sky.
In the end,I only can explore the memory in my mind.
I was afraid I will forget her face as I grown up.

Some people asked me wht kind of guy you are looking for?
I will said matured and understanding guy.
I need him to treat my family as in like his family.
I want a man that can take care of my family too and not just our family.

I have finished watching japanese drama ' One Liter Of Tears'
I like the song named 'kanayuki - powered snow'
The message is No matter how bad is the condition, I will always protecting you!!
How nice if the man is belongs to me??!!nah!!dream off la.
Everyone can listen to the song and understand the lyrics.

I dont why am I so emo in the christmas night.
Perhaps I need a glass of LONG ISLAND to help me take off the emo stuff from my mind at a moment.

-thanks for reading my stupid crap-